Modern children are suffering from the disease that were once considered to be meant for adult only obesity is a major disease prevalent among children what are its causes and what solutions can be offered.
Obesity
amongst
Change preposition
among
children
is a growing concern in today’s society. Health
issues such
as obesity
, once predominantly seen in adults, are now increasingly affecting children
. This
essay will explor
the causes of childhood Correct your spelling
explore
obesity
and propose solutions, including the provision of healthier school meals
and the enhancement of parental health
education
.
One significant cause of childhood obesity
is the lack of parental control over junk food
. Parents often permit their children
to eat without restriction, leading to excessive intake of unhealthy food
such
as fast food
, sweets and sugary drinks. Consequently
, children
gain weight
. Furthermore
, families from low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
household
often can not afford to purchase healthy Fix the agreement mistake
households
food
due to
it’s
high cost. Replace the word
its
This
financial constraint forces them to opt for cheaper meals
that are high in carbohydrates and low in nutritional values such
as pasta, rice or bread which contribute to gain weight
in children
as well as
their family members.
To combat this
issue, schools need to provide healthier meals
to children
and increase parental health
education
. By providing healthier food
alternatives at school, children
will consume less unhealthy foods and as a
result
lose Add a comma
result,
weight
. Additionally
, comprehensive health
education
campaigns directed at should be implemented. Once parents understand the dangers and health
implications associated with obesity
, they will be more inclined to impose strict control on the type of foods they consume at home. This
leading
to discipline and Wrong verb form
leads
self control
amongst Add a hyphen
self-control
children
and ultimately for them to lose weight
to improve their health
overall
.
In conclusion, the lack of parental regulation on unhealthy food
at home is one of the notorious reasons for childhood obesity
. Additionally
, Financial constrain
limit Correct your spelling
constraints
parents
access to Change noun form
parents'
parent's
nutritious
. To combat Replace the word
nutrition
this
issue, schools should offer healthier meals
to children
and increase parental awareness on
Change preposition
of
health
education
will ultimately decrease the rising perveance
of Correct your spelling
prevalence
obesity
amongst children
.Submitted by nhashi42 on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider including more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Ensure that you thoroughly address all parts of the task prompt. While you discussed causes and solutions, further elaboration and a balanced discussion of multiple causes and solutions could enhance your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing the logical structure of your essay by clearly organizing your points into separate paragraphs, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and improve the coherence of your sentences. This will enhance the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing both causes and solutions for childhood obesity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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