Some people think that the main factor influencing a child’s development these days are things such as tv, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #factor #child’s #development #tv #friends #music

There are many factors that

influence

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

development

While

some others think things

such

Correct your spelling

show examples

friends

and

music

influence

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

cognitive

Replace the word

cognition

show examples

, some

also

strongly believe family is the prime factor that

influence

Change the verb form

influences

show examples

child

development

. Having

Correct your spelling

show examples

friends

and

music

infuence's

Correct your spelling

influences's

child

development

firstly

having

friends

in a

child

's life serves as

a sources

Correct the article-noun agreement

a source

sources

show examples

campanionship

Correct your spelling

companionship

for the

child

, as it helps the

child

learn how to interact with other people which

infacts

Correct your spelling

in fact

prepare

Correct subject-verb agreement

prepares

show examples

them for the

futture

Correct your spelling

future

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

has become

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

influencing factor in a

child

's life helping them to

development

Replace the word

develop

show examples

For instance

, learning and fun activities are shown on the

Correct your spelling

show examples

and infants tend to learn more from it.

Music

is said to be the soul of life ,

for

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

when a

women

Correct the article-noun agreement

woman

show examples

is pregnant and sings to the

child

, it

said

Add a missing verb

is said

show examples

to improve the

child

cognitve

Correct your spelling

cognitive

function. Family ,

on the other hand

, is

suggesteed

Correct your spelling

suggested

to be the most important of them all. A

child

is born into a family and

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

are the first people the

child

gets to interact with before any other thing. Since the family is the

child

's first contact it greatly has an

imerse

Correct your spelling

immense

immerse

influence

on the

development

of the

child

. In my opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe all the factors help to improve the

development

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

, even though some suggest

Correct your spelling

show examples

friends

and

music

are some of the things that

influence

child

development

while

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

strongly believe family is the most important of them all.

Submitted by keziahboye58 on Sun Jun 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general advice

Try to proofread your essay carefully to correct spelling mistakes, such as 'infuence's', 'cognitive' instead of 'cognitve', 'campanionship' instead of 'companionship', 'futture', 'tv' instead of 'TV', etc.

task response

When presenting arguments for both sides, make sure to provide sufficient examples and explanations to strengthen your points. Expand on how TV, friends, and music influence development and back it up with relevant examples.

task response

Develop your points further in the body paragraphs to make your arguments more convincing. Each point should have a clear explanation and supporting examples that validate your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure there is a clear logical progression of ideas. The essay could use better connectors and linking words to smoothly transition between points and paragraphs. For instance, use phrases like 'on one hand', 'on the other', and 'for instance' more effectively.

task response

The introduction clearly states both perspectives regarding the factors influencing a child's development.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and restates your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

5.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?
Every sports plays an important role in native citizens life whether if its cricket, football, tennis and many more. People follow sports players as their ideals and follow its life and value life a crazy fan. So, I personally believe that the action of each and every players in sports plays a very crucial role even off the sports ground. This essay will discuss why I disagree with this statement that if the player is very briiliant in its field but its actions off the field plays vital role as well.
5
band
Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better for children than watching TV or playing computer games.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that in order to have a better reading quality, it is better for children to read a story from a book than from TV or computer games.I fully agree with this statement.36 It is clear that reading stories from TV or computer games is an interesting reading method for children because the stories are deduced in a variety of ways. Actors deduce the story by turning a story into a TV series or a movie. Children could also read the stories by playing the computer games, acting as a story character by playing the game and read the story by playing the game. These methods made the reading more interesting and children may more willing to read the story. However, the disadvantages outweighs the advantages. Although reading story from TV or computer games may be more interesting, it is hard for children to focus on the story because other TV programes and other computer games could disturb them.Besides, watching TV or playing computer games on the screen for a long time coul...
7
band
Subtleties of banking: understanding the interdependence of depositors and borrowers.
To begin with, the world of banking is a complex and fascinating field that has long attracted the interest of individuals. At its core, a treasury's primary function is to serve two distinct groups of customers: those who want to save payments and those who want to borrow it. However, a person can belong to both categories. This essay will argue that the interdependence of savers and defaulters is the foundation of the banking system, with each playing a vital role in the financial journey of the other.
4.5
band
People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
People who are simply use other people's ideas or works are less valuable than people who do their works with their capability and create original ideas. Only integrated people who can do this thing. I, personally, could not agree more that people who rely on their ability to do their own tasks or have fresh ideas are really a dedicated person. This essay will shown by analysing my personal experience when made a project as well as my sister when did her assignment at campus.
<4
band
Some people claim that goverments should be responsible for taking care of the essential needs of the elderly, while others argue that it should be the elderly that should do so. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The importance of which was always debatable Has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former/latter proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the positive/negative impact and thus, will lead to a logical conclusion

Some people think that the main factor influencing a child’s development these days are things such as tv, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better for children than watching TV or playing computer games.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Subtleties of banking: understanding the interdependence of depositors and borrowers.

People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people claim that goverments should be responsible for taking care of the essential needs of the elderly, while others argue that it should be the elderly that should do so. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.