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Writing Samples
Band 5

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive decelopment while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. other hand,

#availability #airlines #people #travel #world #feel #decelopment #hand
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Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 has been part of the human race
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 centuries until date. Technology has improved the way of traveling making it easier for man to
travel
Use synonyms
 around without stress with the manufacturing of cars, airplanes and boats. In recent times
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by air has become one of the fastest means to get
rom
Correct your spelling
from
 one point to the other in less than a couple of hours.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
avaliability
Correct your spelling
availability
 of inexpensive
airlines
Use synonyms
 has seen a
numerous
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 growth of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some feel
this
Linking Words
 a positive
developmet
Correct your spelling
development
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 dispute
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to discuss both the positive and negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 and
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 provide the writer's opinion on the subject. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, the
low-cost
Correct your spelling
low cost
show examples
 of
airlines
Use synonyms
let's
Replace the word
lets
show examples
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 around the world.
This
Linking Words
 helps in the generating of revenue for the economy of the
countries
Use synonyms
 since
people
Use synonyms
 are more appealed to
travel
Use synonyms
 without hesitation . As
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 saying goes little drops of water
makes
Change the verb form
make
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 a mighty
oceans
Correct the article-noun agreement
ocean
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, the more
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the inexpensive airline fares the more revenue is created.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 it provides
people
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to see historical places or
travel
Use synonyms
 to places they dream of.
For example
Linking Words
 , a person may want to
travel
Use synonyms
 to Dubai to
go
Verb problem
apply
show examples
experience the city but since the price or
airlines
Use synonyms
 are expensive they can't go,
in contrast
Linking Words
 when the
airlines
Use synonyms
 become cheap they are able to go and
fufill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their dreams.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can cause
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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 and depopulation in
ceratain
Correct your spelling
certain
countries
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 most
people
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underdeveloped
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want to go to developed
countries
Use synonyms
 to strive for a better life but since the
airlines
Use synonyms
 are expensive they can
afford
Correct pronoun usage
afford them
show examples
, but when the opposite occurs they are able to
leabe
Correct your spelling
leave
 their country and go to
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 developed
countries
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, causing a
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in population and high inflation in the
countries
Use synonyms
 they go to. In conclusion, I think
surge
Add an article
the surge
show examples
 in low-cost
airlines
Use synonyms
 serves making it easier for
people
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 around the world is a positive development. Even though every individual has their own opinion on whether
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 best to have low-cost
airlines
Use synonyms
 or not.
Submitted by keziahboye58 on

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structure
The essay could benefit from a clearer and more concise thesis statement in the introduction. Additionally, some ideas can be expressed more coherently if sentences are clearly structured and vocabulary is accurately used.
language
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors which at times can make your argument less clear. Proofreading your text before submission can help in identifying these easily correctable issues.
content
Try to provide more detailed examples and slightly expand on how the positive and negative aspects you mentioned specifically affect different stakeholders. This will help to strengthen your task response.
task response
You covered both sides of the argument fairly and gave your opinion in the conclusion.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion which is essential for good coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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