The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive decelopment while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. other hand,

Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
has been part of the human race
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
centuries until date. Technology has improved the way of traveling making it easier for man to
travel
around without stress with the manufacturing of cars, airplanes and boats. In recent times
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
by air has become one of the fastest means to get
rom
Correct your spelling
from
one point to the other in less than a couple of hours.
Moreover
, the
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
avaliability
Correct your spelling
availability
of inexpensive
airlines
has seen a
numerous
Correct word choice
large
show examples
growth of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
While
some feel
this
a positive
developmet
Correct your spelling
development
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
dispute
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
.
This
essay is going to discuss both the positive and negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
and
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
provide the writer's opinion on the subject. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, the
low-cost
Correct your spelling
low cost
show examples
of
airlines
let's
Replace the word
lets
show examples
people
travel
around the world.
This
helps in the generating of revenue for the economy of the
countries
since
people
are more appealed to
travel
without hesitation . As
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
saying goes little drops of water
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
a mighty
oceans
Correct the article-noun agreement
ocean
show examples
.
Thus
, the more
people
travel
due to
the inexpensive airline fares the more revenue is created.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
it provides
people
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
to see historical places or
travel
to places they dream of.
For example
, a person may want to
travel
to Dubai to
go
Verb problem
apply
show examples
experience the city but since the price or
airlines
are expensive they can't go,
in contrast
when the
airlines
become cheap they are able to go and
fufill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
their dreams.
On the other hand
, it can cause
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
and depopulation in
ceratain
Correct your spelling
certain
countries
.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
most
people
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underdeveloped
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want to go to developed
countries
to strive for a better life but since the
airlines
are expensive they can
afford
Correct pronoun usage
afford them
show examples
, but when the opposite occurs they are able to
leabe
Correct your spelling
leave
their country and go to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
developed
countries
.
Thus
, causing a
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
in population and high inflation in the
countries
they go to. In conclusion, I think
surge
Add an article
the surge
show examples
in low-cost
airlines
serves making it easier for
people
to
travel
around the world is a positive development. Even though every individual has their own opinion on whether
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
best to have low-cost
airlines
or not.
Submitted by keziahboye58 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
The essay could benefit from a clearer and more concise thesis statement in the introduction. Additionally, some ideas can be expressed more coherently if sentences are clearly structured and vocabulary is accurately used.
language
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors which at times can make your argument less clear. Proofreading your text before submission can help in identifying these easily correctable issues.
content
Try to provide more detailed examples and slightly expand on how the positive and negative aspects you mentioned specifically affect different stakeholders. This will help to strengthen your task response.
task response
You covered both sides of the argument fairly and gave your opinion in the conclusion.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion which is essential for good coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: