It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is amazing how
children
can have some behaviour at an early age without anyone
taught
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
them.
For example
, my neighbour's child cries rarely when her father is not at home. Her father
work
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works
show examples
in another city. But
everytime
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every time
show examples
her father is at home, she cries often.
Children
at an early age can be aware
about
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of
show examples
their environment.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cannot speak fluently, they can learn a lot of
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
based on what they see, hear, and feel. They know how each person
interact
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interacts
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
them.
They
Add a verb
They are
They were
show examples
sensitive to what we do, say, feel. So, it is important for
children
to learn the difference between
right
and wrong at an early age. We should show them what is
right
to do and what is wrong to do by giving them an example. Because
children
learn from what they see more than from what they
told
Add a missing verb
are told
show examples
.
For example
, when we
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
our
children
not to
picky
Add a missing verb
be picky
show examples
about food (especially vegetables they don't like to eat), it is important to show them that we eat all the food on our plates,
include
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including
show examples
the vegetables that we don't like. When
children
learn what is
right
and what is wrong, sometimes just
tell
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telling
show examples
them
by
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in
show examples
words is not enough.
Give
Wrong verb form
Giving
show examples
them a
reward
after they do
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
thing and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
them a
punishment
when they do
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
thing can be more effective and efficient to help them learn the difference between
right
and wrong thing. The
reward
and the
punishment
can
be vary
Change the verb form
vary
show examples
, based on what they do
right
and what they do wrong. But it is important to give the
reward
and the
punishment
well. The
reward
must not make their ego grow and the
punishment
must not hurt them.
Submitted by kelly on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay provides a good starting point, but it needs a stronger introduction that clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss. Additionally, try to wrap up your essay with a concise conclusion that summarizes your arguments.
logical structure
While your ideas are generally clear, your essay would benefit from a more logical structure. Separate your main points into distinct paragraphs, each starting with a clear topic sentence. Make sure your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
supported main points
To support your points more effectively, include more specific examples and explanations. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay touches on an interesting observation about children's behavior, which serves as a compelling starting point.
complete response
You emphasized the importance of teaching children right from wrong at an early age, which is a key point that aligns well with the task prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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