You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. Write about the following topic: Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Recently,
instead
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of working for a company or organization,
people
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prefer to be self-employed. I believe
this
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phenomenon happened because
self-employed
Correct article usage
the self-employed
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offers great flexibility
although
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it
also
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needs
skills
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and
time
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to achieve
a
Remove the article
apply
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great success. The following paragraph will explain
about
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apply
show examples
the reason why
people
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choose to be self-employed
along with
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its disadvantages. To be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-employed means that
people
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can get flexibility in the way they work. Nowadays, one of the major factors that increase the trend of self-employed is the advancement of technology
such
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as
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the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
This
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situation
make
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makes
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it possible for individuals
such
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as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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freelance
designer
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designers
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to find their clients directly from all over the world and connect with them from anywhere.
Therefore
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,
people
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do not need to commute to their office daily so they can save their money and their
time
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for their family.
Not to mention
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that going to the office
also
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requires
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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energy.
Moreover
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, working in a company
also
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means that employees should follow the rules
such
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as paid leave and overwork which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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sometimes very strict and hard to
be implemented
Wrong verb form
implement
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.
However
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, to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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self-employed requires great
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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in the beginning.
People
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need to master certain
skills
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to convince their clients to work with them which
is takes
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takes
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certain
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a certain
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amount of
time
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.
Furthermore
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, after mastering specific
skills
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, individuals
also
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need to build their branding and reputations through their great portfolios.
However
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, building a great image is not really a simple job because it requires much
time
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, effort, and consistency. Indeed, to get the first customer
of
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apply
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is a pretty challenging job. Sometimes,
initially
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,
people
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even offer their
skills
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for free just to get a chance to build their portfolios.
Not to mention
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that the competition is extremely challenging and the payment sometimes is too low especially in the initial year so not all
people
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able
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are able
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to survive and be successful in certain fields. In conclusion, individuals nowadays prefer to be self-employed because it offers flexibility but it
also
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requires much effort to survive and
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Grammar
Ensure grammatical accuracy by refining sentence structures. For example, instead of 'self-employed offers great flexibility,' it should be 'being self-employed offers great flexibility.'
Task Response
While the ideas are clear, aim to enrich the essay with more specific examples or data to support the arguments made. This strengthens your position and makes it more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid minor repetition to maintain reader engagement. For instance, instead of repeating 'requires much time, effort,' you could rephrase it to maintain variety.
Structure
The essay has clear and well-organized paragraphs that enhance readability.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion and sum up the key points sufficiently.
Task Response
The main points are relevant and adequately supported with logical reasoning.
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