IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the threat of global warming increases at a fast pace, other viable
energy
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 sources
such
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 as nuclear
power
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 are gaining popularity. Nuclear
energy
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 is
also
Linking Words
 used as a weapon of mass destruction.
This
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 threat of extinction keeps the peace among
countries
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.
Thus
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, the merits of
such
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 technology outweigh
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 pitfalls. I strongly agree with
this
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 proposition because nuclear
energy
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 does not harm the environment.
Additionally
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, it
hinder’s
Correct your spelling
hinders
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countries
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 from attacking other nations who possess
such
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 advanced technology. Nuclear
power
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 plants do not generate carbon emissions, which is beneficial for the environment. If
such
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energy
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 sources are not utilized, people will be forced to rely on fossil fuels.
This
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 will lead to increased
greenhouses
Change the noun form
greenhouse
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 gases
such
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 as carbon dioxide in the air, resulting in
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
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 of the ozone layer, which has a detrimental impact on the global temperature.
For instance
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, developing
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as India which rely on coal for
energy
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 contribute more
in
Change preposition
to
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 global warming, compared to Sweden whose population mostly relies on nuclear plants.
Furthermore
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, nuclear
power
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 has been used to invent the atomic bomb.
This
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 is a weapon which has the ability to kill millions in mere seconds,
as well as
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 leave adverse effects on the people who
got
Verb problem
are
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 exposed to
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
radiations
Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
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.
For example
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, residents of Hiroshima, Japan still suffer from the side effects of a nuclear bomb that exploded almost 100 years ago.
This
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 ensures
countries
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 do not engage in war, as the consequences can be dire.
Conversely
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,
such
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 technology
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 nuclear bombs have immense
power
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 that can be harmful in the wrong hands. To exemplify
this
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 point, a nation like Pakistan, where
military
Correct article usage
the military
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 often overthrows the government holds the
power
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 to destroy the world.
However
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, there exist multiple world organizations to keep
such
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countries
Use synonyms
 in check.
To conclude
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, despite the threat of nuclear bombs reaching an unstable nation, I reiterate that the benefits of nuclear
energy
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, which are to use it as a green fuel and maintain world peace , outweigh
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 disadvantages.

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task achievement
The essay largely stays on topic and presents relevant arguments and examples. However, to achieve a higher score, it's crucial to deepen the analysis and provide more specific evidence supporting your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy, especially focusing on correct usage of possessive forms and avoiding minor errors. For instance, 'it’s pitfalls' should be 'its pitfalls.' Additionally, avoid contractions in formal writing.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and points. For example, sentences connecting ideas within paragraphs could use more linking words or phrases to make the argument flow naturally.
task achievement
Add a counterargument to show a more balanced perspective. This can strengthen your position by showing that you have considered multiple angles.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, providing a clear stance on the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion efficiently summarizes the main points, reinforcing your stance clearly and effectively.
supported main points
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the references to India, Sweden, and Hiroshima, which make the arguments more compelling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Mutually assured destruction
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Cost-effective
  • Radiation therapy
  • Proliferation
  • Rogue states
  • Radioactive waste disposal
  • Catastrophic accidents
  • Climate change
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