The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As the threat of global warming increases at a fast pace, other viable
energy
sources such
as nuclear power
are gaining popularity. Nuclear energy
is also
used as a weapon of mass destruction. This
threat of extinction keeps the peace among countries
. Thus
, the merits of such
technology outweigh it’s
pitfalls. I strongly agree with Replace the word
its
this
proposition because nuclear energy
does not harm the environment. Additionally
, it hinder’s
Correct your spelling
hinders
countries
from attacking other nations who possess such
advanced technology.
Nuclear power
plants do not generate carbon emissions, which is beneficial for the environment. If such
energy
sources are not utilized, people will be forced to rely on fossil fuels. This
will lead to increased greenhouses
gases Change the noun form
greenhouse
such
as carbon dioxide in the air, resulting in destruction
of the ozone layer, which has a detrimental impact on the global temperature. Add an article
the destruction
For instance
, developing countries
such
as India which rely on coal for energy
contribute more in
global warming, compared to Sweden whose population mostly relies on nuclear plants.
Change preposition
to
Furthermore
, nuclear power
has been used to invent the atomic bomb. This
is a weapon which has the ability to kill millions in mere seconds, as well as
leave adverse effects on the people who got
exposed to Verb problem
are
it’s
Replace the word
its
radiations
. Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
For example
, residents of Hiroshima, Japan still suffer from the side effects of a nuclear bomb that exploded almost 100 years ago. This
ensures countries
do not engage in war, as the consequences can be dire.
Conversely
, such
technology like
nuclear bombs have immense Change preposition
as
power
that can be harmful in the wrong hands. To exemplify this
point, a nation like Pakistan, where military
often overthrows the government holds the Correct article usage
the military
power
to destroy the world. However
, there exist multiple world organizations to keep such
countries
in check.
To conclude
, despite the threat of nuclear bombs reaching an unstable nation, I reiterate that the benefits of nuclear energy
, which are to use it as a green fuel and maintain world peace , outweigh it’s
disadvantages.Replace the word
its
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task achievement
The essay largely stays on topic and presents relevant arguments and examples. However, to achieve a higher score, it's crucial to deepen the analysis and provide more specific evidence supporting your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy, especially focusing on correct usage of possessive forms and avoiding minor errors. For instance, 'it’s pitfalls' should be 'its pitfalls.' Additionally, avoid contractions in formal writing.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and points. For example, sentences connecting ideas within paragraphs could use more linking words or phrases to make the argument flow naturally.
task achievement
Add a counterargument to show a more balanced perspective. This can strengthen your position by showing that you have considered multiple angles.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, providing a clear stance on the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion efficiently summarizes the main points, reinforcing your stance clearly and effectively.
supported main points
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the references to India, Sweden, and Hiroshima, which make the arguments more compelling.