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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table displays information about a bakery brand’s selling information that contains
number
Add an article
a number
the number
show examples
 of transactions, transaction values, number of eat-in and take-away transactions, and
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular item of each three different branches located in Vancouver
Street
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Vancourver
show examples
Vancourver
Correct your spelling
Vancouver
 Georgia
Street
Use synonyms
 branch had the highest average selling value among the other outlets. It produced more than $10.50 from over 850 orders with Chicken Burger as the customer’s favourite menu. Unlike
Vancourver
Use synonyms
 Georgia
Use synonyms
Street’s
Change noun form
Street
show examples
, as the second biggest profit producer,
Vancourver
Use synonyms
 Drake
Street
Use synonyms
 branch only had 390 transactions and became the least popular among the other shops.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Chicken Pasta was frequently chosen by customers here .
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 number of
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 about 750 orders,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Vancourver
show examples
Vancourver
Correct your spelling
Vancouver
 Dunsmuir
Street
Use synonyms
 branch only generated
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slightly over $5.50
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
transaction
Add an article
the transaction
show examples
 value.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is Chicken Wings that played
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its profit.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words street, vancourver with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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