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Band 4.5

Today's young generation is facing many problems in school and at home. What are the problems? What can parents do to help their teenage children?

#generation #school #home #parents #children
Nowadays, humongous teenagers have
a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of
problems
 both in school and at home. The causes of the
problems
 are too many learning materials and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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some unproductive lifestyles. To handle the issues
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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parents
 have to give motivation for their
children
 and understand
about
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apply
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them. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we will discuss related to that. On the one hand,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
get
Verb problem
has
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 issues because they have to focus on numerous lessons in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
Moreover
, the lessons are difficult to understand, so that they are frustrated and give up to learn.
For instance
, the student can not finish their homework.
As a result
, their teacher will be mad
to
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at
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 them.
In addition
, they do some unproductive activities at home.
Furthermore
, they tend to spend too much
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 for open their gadget to do some internet activities,
such
 as playing games and scrolling social media. So that’s why they do not have adequate time to study.
On the other hand
, the solution of the student
problems
 must be managed by their
parents
with
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in
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 some ways.
Firstly
, the
parents
 give motivation again and again to maintain
productivity
Add an article
the productivity
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 of their
children
,
such
 as
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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 advice smoothly to the kids.
Secondly
,
parents
 should
be understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
 what the
children
 want,
then
 they have to listen carefully
about
Change preposition
to
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 the
problems
.
For example
, after
finish
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finishing
show examples
 the class, ask the
children
with
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apply
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a
couple
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couple of
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 questions like, what
you
Add a missing verb
are you
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 feeling, do you enjoy
in
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apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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class, tell
to
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apply
show examples
mama or papa what the
difficult
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difficulty
show examples
 facing
to
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apply
show examples
you
.
Add a missing verb
are.
show examples
 After
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
children
 answer the question and
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
 how to solve their
problems
.
To sum up
, as we know in
this
 era younger people find
a
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apply
show examples
plenty of
problems
 between in school and at home because they have a lot of lessons that they do not understand. In order to help the students,
parents
 have to
give
Verb problem
be
show examples
motivation
Replace the word
motivated
show examples
 and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 close
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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language
Try to use more academic language and avoid informal expressions such as 'humongous.'
coherence
Ensure you clearly divide your essay into paragraphs with clear main points. This will help improve the logical structure.
task response
While discussing solutions, give more specific and feasible examples.
task response
You have properly addressed the topic by discussing both the problems teenagers face and the solutions parents can offer.
coherence
You made a good effort to structure your introduction and conclusion, which provides a nice framework for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescents
  • competitiveness
  • self-esteem
  • cyberbullying
  • generational gap
  • nutrition
  • mental health
  • stress management
  • peer pressure
  • communication skills
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