Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinon.
In
this
moderen
world, Correct your spelling
modern
same
Correct your spelling
some
people
have different views about the imfortant
keeping Correct your spelling
important
importance
animals
in zoo
. Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
While
some people
agree with the idea of put
wildlife in Wrong verb form
putting
zoos
. I believe that they should live free in their habitat. On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
zoos
are ecually
Correct your spelling
equally
imfortent
for entertaining and education.
Correct your spelling
important
To begin
with, there are
some Change the verb form
is
reason
why is Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
imfortant
to keep Correct your spelling
important
animal
in Fix the agreement mistake
animals
the
Correct article usage
apply
zoos
. Firstly
, zoos
would be able to provide full protection for animals
. They might be hunted or poached especially in my country where is
very Change the verb form
are
sticht
regulations are not Correct your spelling
strict
implamented
. Rare species Correct your spelling
implemented
for
example, Tiger sumatra, and lions Add the comma(s)
, for
bali
Change the capitalization
Bali
my
be endangered in the Correct your spelling
may
whild
. Correct your spelling
world
Extintion
would happen if there is no Correct your spelling
Extension
for
protection for them. Change preposition
apply
Zoos
will provide protection as well as
the continue
of the species. Replace the word
continuation
Secondly
, it would be more efficient for people
who want to have a closer experience wit
the wildlife. Correct your spelling
with
for example
, for
Change preposition
apply
people
would not have to spend more money to travel to indonesia
. Change the capitalization
Indonesia
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
zoos
will provide education for children who want to learn about wildlife and also
research for scientist
.
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
However
, I would agree with those who believe that zoos
become profose
of Correct your spelling
propose
profuse
the
society for Correct article usage
apply
learnd
Correct your spelling
learning
to
education and Change preposition
apply
entertaining
. Replace the word
entertainment
Firstly
, zoos
are imfortant
for entertaining for Correct your spelling
important
evryone
Correct your spelling
everyone
du
to many things that we can provide when Correct your spelling
due
people
go to zoos
, for example
. We know abaout
the Correct your spelling
about
name
of several Fix the agreement mistake
names
animals
like elevant
, lions, Correct your spelling
elephants
monkey
and others. Fix the agreement mistake
monkeys
Secondly
, people
that
go to Correct pronoun usage
who
zoos
can get many benefits like they more love the animals
.
In conclusion, there are some benefits to keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
aniamls
in the Correct your spelling
animals
zoos
like goverment
would can be frotect Correct your spelling
government
animals
from
Change preposition
apply
who
Change the pronoun
whom
people
want tu
hunt the Correct your spelling
to
animals
, and also
can give benefits for
Change preposition
to
evryone
like Correct your spelling
everyone
people
known
about the Wrong verb form
knowing
animals
.Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
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Grammar
Work on spelling and grammar to improve clarity: 'imfortant' should be 'important', 'frotect' should be 'protect', and so on.
Content Development
Provide more concrete examples and expand on existing points to strengthen arguments and provide a richer discussion.
Structure
Ensure each paragraph follows a clear structure: introduce the point, explain it, support it with an example, and then link it back to the topic.
Content
You have addressed both sides of the issue, which is good for a balanced discussion.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, ensuring your essay has a clear start and finish.
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