Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views and give your opinon.

#people #animals #zoos #opinon

this

moderen

Correct your spelling

modern

world,

same

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some

show examples

people

have different views about the

imfortant

Correct your spelling

important

importance

keeping

animals

zoo

Fix the agreement mistake

zoos

show examples

While

some

people

agree with the idea of

put

Wrong verb form

putting

show examples

wildlife in

zoos

. I believe that they should live free in their habitat.

On the other

hand

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hand,

show examples

zoos

are

ecually

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equally

imfortent

Correct your spelling

important

for entertaining and education.

To begin

with, there

are

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show examples

some

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

why is

imfortant

Correct your spelling

important

to keep

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

zoos

Firstly

zoos

would be able to provide full protection for

animals

. They might be hunted or poached especially in my country where

Change the verb form

are

show examples

very

sticht

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strict

regulations are not

implamented

Correct your spelling

implemented

. Rare species

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, Tiger sumatra, and lions

bali

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Bali

show examples

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

be endangered in the

whild

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world

Extintion

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Extension

would happen if there is no

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

protection for them.

Zoos

will provide protection

as well as

the

continue

Replace the word

continuation

show examples

of the species.

Secondly

, it would be more efficient for

people

who want to have a closer experience

wit

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with

show examples

the wildlife.

for example

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

would not have to spend more money to travel to

indonesia

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Indonesia

show examples

Lastly

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Lastly,

show examples

zoos

will provide education for children who want to learn about wildlife and

also

research for

scientist

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scientists

show examples

However

, I would agree with those who believe that

zoos

become

profose

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propose

profuse

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society for

learnd

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learning

Change preposition

apply

show examples

education and

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

Firstly

zoos

are

imfortant

Correct your spelling

important

for entertaining for

evryone

Correct your spelling

everyone

Correct your spelling

due

show examples

to many things that we can provide when

people

go to

zoos

for example

. We know

abaout

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about

the

name

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names

show examples

of several

animals

elevant

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elephants

, lions,

monkey

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monkeys

show examples

and others.

Secondly

people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

go to

zoos

can get many benefits like they more love the

animals

. In conclusion, there are some benefits to

keep

Wrong verb form

keeping

show examples

aniamls

Correct your spelling

animals

in the

zoos

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

would can be frotect

animals

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

people

want

Correct your spelling

hunt the

animals

, and

also

can give benefits

for

Change preposition

show examples

evryone

Correct your spelling

everyone

people

known

Wrong verb form

knowing

show examples

about the

animals

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Sun Jun 30 2024

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Grammar

Work on spelling and grammar to improve clarity: 'imfortant' should be 'important', 'frotect' should be 'protect', and so on.

Content Development

Provide more concrete examples and expand on existing points to strengthen arguments and provide a richer discussion.

Structure

Ensure each paragraph follows a clear structure: introduce the point, explain it, support it with an example, and then link it back to the topic.

Content

You have addressed both sides of the issue, which is good for a balanced discussion.

Structure

The introduction and conclusion are present, ensuring your essay has a clear start and finish.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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TSome people believe that one of the best ways to solve environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes trom hard work and determination, while others think hot there are more infortant factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.