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Band 4

in many countries nowdays consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food prdouced all over the world. do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

#countries #nowdays #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
In recent years globalisation has reached
pauls
Capitalize word
Pauls
show examples
 whether
that is
 in media, technology, fashion and for now food as well.
Distinguish
Wrong verb form
Distinguished
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countries
 are famous for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 local produce
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in cuisines which in my concern is a
prospertive
Correct your spelling
prosperous
 development.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
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 researchers believe people are more
intruged
Correct your spelling
interested
 in trying out dishes from all over the world
instead
 of what is available locally. As a trend has shifted how people from
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
countries
 settling abroad come across thousands of humans from other regions which faced issues of diminished availability of local goods have now
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fixed and consumed. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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insatnce
Correct your spelling
instance
 canadian
groceries
Fix the agreement mistake
grocery
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 store
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 different aisles for indians, chinese,
nepalise
Correct your spelling
Nepali
 and many more other
produces
Replace the word
products
show examples
. Not only that
restaraunts
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 with famous franchises opting globalised
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 over something known. Probing ahead,
this
 shift is not only causing
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
choose
Add the particle
to choose
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 it but
uplifment
Correct your spelling
upliftment
 in
trades
Fix the agreement mistake
trade
show examples
 between
countries
. Making more strong relations in food industries as well. People
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 opportunities to try out various alternatives at
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own ease.
MAny
Correct your spelling
Many
show examples
 tend to come out with their own recipes of the same which puts them
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 ease making it more natural and soulful to taste. Internet being a gigantic help is making it reach to the smaller
localilities
Correct your spelling
localities
thus
 being appreciated by all. To
recaptiulate
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
 the afore-mentioned above one can reach to a conclusion that just like other fields in internationalisation have shown a rise in development so
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 eatables helping in
strenghtning
Correct your spelling
strengthening
 economies and spreading vast knowledge amongst
countries
 and should be continued to cater more growth.
Submitted by aartitrehan234 on

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structure
Your essay needs a clearer introduction and conclusion. Try to introduce the topic more clearly at the beginning and provide a summarizing conclusion at the end.
coherence
Work on logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and paragraphs are logically ordered to support your argument.
examples
You need to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Try to think of concrete cases or facts that illustrate your arguments better.
accuracy
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and spelling. Proofreading will help catch errors and improve the overall readability of your essay.
content
You have made a valid and pertinent point about globalization and its impact on the availability of diverse food products.
ideas
Your ideas are relevant and show an understanding of the topic. With more specific examples and better structure, your essay can be significantly improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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