IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in many countries nowadays , cosnumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. do you think this is a postive or neagtive development.

#countries #cosnumers #supermarket #food #world #postive #neagtive #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years globalisation has reached Pauls whether
that is
 in media, technology, fashion and for now food as well. Distinguished countries are famous for their local produce , especially in cuisines which in my concern is a prosperous development.
To begin
 with, researchers believe people are more interested in trying out dishes from all over the world
instead
 of what is available locally. As a trend has shifted how people from different
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 settling abroad come across thousands of humans from other regions
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 faced issues of diminished availability of local goods have now fixed and consumed. For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
canadian
Change the capitalization
Canadian
show examples
 grocery store has different aisles for
indians
Change the capitalization
Indians
show examples
,
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
, Nepali and many
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other products. Not only that restaurants with famous franchises opting
globalised
Change preposition
for globalised
show examples
 products over something known. Probing ahead,
this
 shift is not only causing the public to choose it but upliftment in trade between countries. Making more strong relations in food industries as well. People have opportunities to try out various alternatives at their own ease. Many tend to come out with their own recipes of the same which puts them at ease making it more natural and soulful to taste. Internet being a gigantic help is making it reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the smaller localities
thus
 being appreciated by all. To recapitulate the afore-mentioned above one can reach to a conclusion that just like other fields in internationalisation have shown a rise in development so are eatables helping in strengthening economies and spreading vast knowledge amongst land and should be continued to cater more growth.
Submitted by aartitrehan234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Ensure you avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'Pauls' instead of 'poles' and 'cosnumers' instead of 'consumers'. Careful proofreading can help improve the quality of your essay.
supporting examples
Strengthen your supporting points with clear and well-explained examples. For instance, while you mentioned Canadian grocery stores having different aisles, it would be more effective if you linked it directly to the positive development of globalization.
clear ideas
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Some points seemed to be mentioned briefly, such as the impact on the restaurant industry. Expanding on these points with more detail will enhance the strength of your argument.
relevant points
Your essay covers a range of relevant points, such as the increased availability of international foods and the positive impact on trade. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
structure
You have a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument in a coherent manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: