IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

These days, many people are interested in buying organic food even though it is often more expensive than conventionally produced food. What are some reasons that people prefer organic food? Do you think it is important to buy organic food despite the higher price? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #food #price
Nowadays, many individuals like to buy organic
food
regarding
Change preposition
because
show examples
 of the fact that it frequently has a higher price than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conventionally produced
food
. It is my
belife
Correct your spelling
belief
, that we should buy organic
food
 no matter the
cost's
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cost
show examples
 differences with other kinds of
food
. The reason many people prefer
that is
 because it has many benefits,
such
 as, It is much more healthy to eat organic
food
 than the conventionally produced, and buying organic
food
 supports the local farms
developping
Correct your spelling
development
. Many studies of conventionally produced
food
 have found a
big
Correct word choice
large
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 quantity of
chemics
Correct your spelling
chemicals
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 and additives substances that are risky for
humans
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human
show examples
 health
while
 organic
food
look
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looks
show examples
 for the most natural way to produce
food
,
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apply
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 and prevent any damage to both humans and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Therefore
, they stop using
pesticits
Correct your spelling
pesticides
 and many other
chemistry
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chemical
show examples
 substances to avoid collateral damage. Most of the organic
food
are
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is
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 provided by local farms
runned
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run
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 mostly by small families rather than big companies.
As a result
, the
most
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
 you buy organic
food
 the higher income they gain. One of the reasons
of
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for
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 the risen prices
on
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of
show examples
 organic
food
 is the fact that local farmers have to hire more people, who take care of the plants and prevent them
to spoil
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from spoiling
show examples
while
Correct pronoun usage
them while
show examples
 lacking
of
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apply
show examples
extrange
Correct your spelling
strange
 substances. In conclusion, from my
perspective
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perspective,
show examples
 it is of paramount importance to buy organic
food
 even though it is more expensive
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 the
convencional
Correct your spelling
conventional
 produced
food
. Buying organic
food
 helps not only to enhance your health
,
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apply
show examples
 but to help
locals
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local
show examples
 farmers
growth
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grow
show examples
 and improve their income.
Submitted by otiyog on

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task response
Your essay addresses the task and presents relevant points. However, it would be better if you provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples from your knowledge or experience could enhance your credibility.
general
Try to avoid small grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For instance, 'regarding of the fact' should be 'regardless of the fact,' and 'It is my belife' should be 'It is my belief.' Proofreading your essay can help eliminate these minor mistakes.
co.herence and cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, use transitional phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' to make the essay flow better.
task response
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and present, which strengthens your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with distinct paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the argument.
task response
You effectively highlighted the benefits of organic food, such as health advantages and support for local farmers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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