Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

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Individual persons think that pro bono should be a social help in the secondary activity curricula

such

as helping

Add an article

the organization

show examples

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

better or

help

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

physical exercise. I will write about my opinion

Change preposition

show examples

this

and give the reason why I think like

this

. I strongly agree with

this

view for a number of reasons.

First,

it would be great if we let students go help or do something that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

a beneﬁts for sociality as an example, help cleaning public place like park, walking way or basketball court.

Secondly

, secondary children will have an experience from servicing. If the job that they have to do is very complicated it would increase experience for those children.

Finally

this

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

the environment get

upgrade

Replace the word

upgraded

show examples

other people in the town

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

show examples

more comfortable and thankful for

kids

Correct article usage

the kids

show examples

that helping make it better than before.

However

, a few individuals do not agree with

this

position, and again they have their reasons.

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

some parents do not like when their child

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to go out and do kid something like

this

or they cannot get out

from

Change preposition

show examples

their home on the weekend for some reason. And again, students may be shy to do something for the public or just hate to do kind of

stu

Correct your spelling

stuff

like that.

Overall

, In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

we should promote the social and make

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

be a comfort zone for everyone that why I advocate

this

idea one hundred percent. I feel that the key to

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

this

happen is we need to help each other and give support

for

Change preposition

show examples

every high school

students

Change to a singular noun

student

show examples

. The most important overriding factor is it better when we go outside and do something useful

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than do nothing.

Submitted by nugentsr on Sun Jun 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to avoid using repetitive phrases and focus on varying your sentence structures. For instance, instead of saying 'help make environment better,' you could say 'enhance the local environment.'

task achievement

Make sure to address counterarguments more thoroughly to show a balanced perspective. You mentioned opposing views briefly, but did not explore them in detail.

task achievement

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Proofreading your essay multiple times or having someone else review it could help catch these mistakes.

task achievement

It's clear that you have strong ideas and opinions on the topic, and you provide reasoning for your viewpoints.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states your opinion, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.

logical structure

You structured your essay in a logical manner, making it easy to follow your arguments. Each paragraph addresses a specific point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
high school programmes
unpaid community service
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching sports
sense of responsibility
empathy
broader perspective
societal issues
college applications
job applications
positive impact

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?