Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter:  Say why you would like to go on the trip  Suggest what you could do to help during the trip  Ask other questions about the trip

#child #three #school #trip #country #head #teacher #parents #group #questions

Dear Sir, I hope

this

letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I am writing

this

letter to respond

you

Change preposition

to you

show examples

back that I'm willing to go on a

trip

organised by your school for children, and I

also

want to thank you for inviting parents for

this

trip

. Actually, I've always wanted to go to Disney

world

Capitalize word

World

show examples

but never made a

trip

even though I've

visitied

Correct your spelling

visited

Florida a number of times.

Last

year, we went to Florida but, unfortunately,

due to

some

constrcution

Correct your spelling

construction

work going on the way

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Disney

world

Capitalize word

World

show examples

resrticted

Correct your spelling

restricted

our

trip

. Plus, next year, I'm going to attend some business meetings in

this

city,

therefore

, making

visit

Add an article

a visit

show examples

this

place in advance can make me more

fimiliar

Correct your spelling

familiar

with the main roads and streets. Paying a visit

along with

children can really provide them accompany of a responsible person who can take care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

all needs whether it is related to eating

home made

Correct your spelling

homemade

show examples

food which may they miss during the absence of parents or any medical support. Not only

this

, as I've visited

this

place a number of times,

therefore

, your school would not need to hire any tour guide for some places. I would really appreciate your assistance in providing details of accomodations,

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

, and

also

when we are going to start

this

trip

. Plus,

also

tell me the place

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

where you will pick all the parents and

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

, your support would be valuable. I look forward

for

Change preposition

show examples

your prompt response, and happy to see you. Yours Regards, Amanjot

kaur

Change the capitalization

Kaur

show examples

Submitted by amanjotkaur0303 on Mon Jul 01 2024

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suitable writing tone

Ensure consistent use of formal language and correct any informal phrases or inaccuracies.

single idea per paragraph

Consolidate related points into single paragraphs for better flow and coherence.

complete response

Double-check for grammar and spelling errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.

greeting and closing

Good greeting and closing, which adds a personal touch and maintains formality.

complete response

You have provided a complete response by addressing all parts of the task: your desire to go, how you can help, and questions about the trip.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enthusiastic
valuable experience
expertise
educational objectives
supervision
ensure safety
bonding
workshops
logistics
coordinates
travel arrangements
clear communication
support
responsibilities
manage schedules

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Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

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