Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
Some believe
that is
important to utilize the computer
for educational purposes, whereas
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
if
the Correct word choice
that
computer
shouldn’t involve in learning activities
. This
essay will analyze both of view perspectives.
There are several reasons why learning activities
should require computers. First of all, nowadays teacher
should prepare contains Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
of
teaching material and Remove the preposition
apply
require
to deliver Wrong verb form
be required
with
a unique way rather than only Change preposition
in
one way
method. It Add a hyphen
one-way
is believe
that the more attractive Change the verb form
is believed
study
material, Correct article usage
the study
it is
possibly create fun Verb problem
apply
environmental
learning activity, which can lead to Correct article usage
the environmental
increase
student enthusiasm. The next reason, since Wrong verb form
increased
the
technology Correct article usage
apply
more
Add a missing verb
is more
advance
and we live in Replace the word
advanced
seamless
world, it is common nowadays to communicate using online Add an article
a seamless
conference
, both Fix the agreement mistake
conferences
of
Change preposition
apply
student
and Fix the agreement mistake
students
teacher
should Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
able
to operate the application for online Add a missing verb
be able
meeting
.
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
However
, others argue that computer
shouldn’t Fix the agreement mistake
computers
be exploit
deeper in learning Change the verb form
be exploited
activities
. It is because possibly lead
the dependent Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
into
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
machine
, Fix the agreement mistake
machines
as
an outcome, it will lead us to Correct word choice
and as
addictive
Replace the word
be addicted
on
Change preposition
to
Add an article
the gadget
a gadget
gadget
. Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
For instance
, if we have high
Add an article
a high
dependent
level with writing on the Replace the word
dependence
computer
, some people believe it will decrease our literacy ability,
since we are not Remove the comma
apply
hands on
with real pen and paper. Add a hyphen
hands-on
Moreover
, learning activities
with conference
method will Correct article usage
the conference
facing
Change the verb form
face
be facing
the
Correct article usage
apply
difficult
Replace the word
difficulties
if
any trouble with Correct your spelling
of
internet
networkCorrect article usage
the internet
,
and could end Remove the comma
apply
to
ineffective wasting time, since the pupil and the tutor Change preposition
up
unable
to engage.
In conclusion, I believe that Add a missing verb
are unable
computer
utilization in the
academic activity is important, Correct article usage
apply
however
, over exploit
possibly lead to Correct your spelling
over-exploiting
decrease
ability on literacy, Correct article usage
a decrease
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
it’s
could leave us into addictive, Unnecessary verb
it
it
Correct word choice
and it
also
make
us powerless Change the verb form
makes
while
having trouble with online network
.Fix the agreement mistake
networks
Submitted by dwima.rizky on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this main idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This can help illustrate your arguments more vividly and concretely.
task achievement
Refine your grammar and vocabulary to make your ideas more clearly understood. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the writer's viewpoint, providing a clear opinion on the matter.
coherence cohesion
The use of some transition words (e.g., 'First of all', 'However') helps in guiding the reader through the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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