Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some believe
that is
important to utilize the
computer
for educational purposes,
whereas
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
the
computer
shouldn’t involve in learning
activities
.
This
essay will analyze both of view perspectives. There are several reasons why learning
activities
should require computers. First of all, nowadays
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
should prepare contains
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
teaching material and
require
Wrong verb form
be required
show examples
to deliver
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
a unique way rather than only
one way
Add a hyphen
one-way
show examples
method. It
is believe
Change the verb form
is believed
show examples
that the more attractive
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
material,
it is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
possibly create fun
environmental
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
learning activity, which can lead to
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
student enthusiasm. The next reason, since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
and we live in
seamless
Add an article
a seamless
show examples
world, it is common nowadays to communicate using online
conference
Fix the agreement mistake
conferences
show examples
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
should
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
to operate the application for online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
.
However
, others argue that
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
shouldn’t
be exploit
Change the verb form
be exploited
show examples
deeper in learning
activities
. It is because possibly
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
the dependent
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
an outcome, it will lead us to
addictive
Replace the word
be addicted
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the gadget
a gadget
show examples
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
.
For instance
, if we have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
dependent
Replace the word
dependence
show examples
level with writing on the
computer
, some people believe it will decrease our literacy ability
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since we are not
hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
with real pen and paper.
Moreover
, learning
activities
with
conference
Correct article usage
the conference
show examples
method will
facing
Change the verb form
face
be facing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult
Replace the word
difficulties
show examples
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
any trouble with
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
network
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and could end
to
Change preposition
up
show examples
ineffective wasting time, since the pupil and the tutor
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
to engage. In conclusion, I believe that
computer
utilization in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic activity is important,
however
,
over exploit
Correct your spelling
over-exploiting
show examples
possibly lead to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
ability on literacy,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
could leave us into addictive,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
also
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
us powerless
while
having trouble with online
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
.
Submitted by dwima.rizky on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this main idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This can help illustrate your arguments more vividly and concretely.
task achievement
Refine your grammar and vocabulary to make your ideas more clearly understood. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the writer's viewpoint, providing a clear opinion on the matter.
coherence cohesion
The use of some transition words (e.g., 'First of all', 'However') helps in guiding the reader through the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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