IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have recently moved to a different city. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain why you decided to move to a different city Describe the new city and accommodation Ask your friend to arrange a visit

#city #friend #move #accommodation #visit
Dear Neha, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I'
m
 writing to inform you that I've relocated to a new
city
, and I'
m
 extremely happy
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
 decision. Actually, the main reason behind my relocation is the transformation of my job to
this
city
. Not only
this
, the accessibility of high infrastructure
along with
 the improved
transportatian
Correct your spelling
transportation
 has encouraged my decision. I'
m
 really surprised by the beauty and services of
this
city
 as it has all
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 amenities within the proximity of the place where I'
m
 staying.
This
city
 is very prominent
due to
 the services it
offered
Wrong verb form
offers
show examples
 to its people including better education, healthcare facilities and
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
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 environment.
Also
, it has some religious places where you can experience your past and enhance your knowledge of history. Plus, the accommodation is worth paying
where
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for where
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 I'
m
 residing I can access
to
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apply
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all amenities in my rent including
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
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 membership, cinema, and
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 swimming pools. I would be very happy to invite
to
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apply
show examples
you to my place. How about the next long weekend? I think that would be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great time to hang out as you will be free, and we have enough time to explore my
city
 and my place of living. I look forward to your response. Yours Regards, Amanjot Kaur.
Submitted by amanjotkaur0303 on

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coherence cohesion
The letter tends to have some awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors. Consider proofreading for smoother readability.
task achievement
Adding more specifics about the new city's attractions or your new job can make your explanation even more engaging.
task achievement
You included all the required information in your letter, which makes it a complete response to the task.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and appropriate for writing to a friend.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your letter is logical, with clear paragraphs for each point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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