Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

A highly controversial issue today relates to whether to have a competitive environment at both school and work or

Correct word choice

whether we

show examples

should strengthen

the

Correct article usage

apply

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cooperation among individuals

instead

of competing. The purpose of

this

essay is to analyse both sides of

this

argument and

then

I will give my own perspective. On the one hand, some people believe that it is a good idea to compete

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other. There are several proper reasons for

this

but it is mostly agreed that competition brings about high motivation to have a better result in academic achievement or

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

. It is possible to say that if we try hard to contend

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with some

show examples

some one

Correct your spelling

someone

show examples

, we will desire to win them, so the ambitious sense leads to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

motivation.

As well as

this

, when you are in

competitive

Add an article

a competitive

show examples

state, you will have a purpose to achieve the goal. To illustrate, in a running race, the

athaletes

Correct your spelling

athletes

always want to be ranked

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first place, so they have to compete

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other to become the winner.

On the other hand

, it is possible to make the opposing case which is better to cooperate rather than

battling

Replace the word

battle

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. People often have

this

opinion because cooperation is

streng

Correct your spelling

strong

, it helps people to overcome challenges more easily than being unaccompanied.

For instance

, it is more productive to entail a group of participants

for completing

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to complete

show examples

a difficult task because the more individuals join

hand

Fix the agreement mistake

hands

show examples

, the more creative result you carry out. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. Having said that, from my perspective, I think competing either at school or at work is justified.

That is

because making a living to cover

life-expenses

Correct your spelling

life expenses

show examples

encourages us to fight for a better place in society.

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on maintaining logical progression and clearly linking ideas within paragraphs. This will make your argument easier to follow for the reader.

task achievement

In terms of task achievement, try to provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and comprehensive.

general

Pay attention to language precision and accuracy. Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical mistakes and improve sentence structures for a higher score.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully introduced both sides of the argument in a balanced way and stated your own perspective clearly.

task achievement

Your essay covers all parts of the question and provides a complete response.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and well-structured.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fast food is a part of life in many places. Some people think this has bad effects on lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree?

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons. Some people say public speaking should be taught at school. Do you agree or disagree?

Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession what factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be care about it?