Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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A highly controversial issue today relates to whether to have a competitive environment at both school and work or
we
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whether we
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should strengthen
the
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apply
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cooperation among individuals
instead
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of competing. The purpose of
this
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essay is to analyse both sides of
this
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argument and
then
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I will give my own perspective. On the one hand, some people believe that it is a good idea to compete
each
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with each
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other. There are several proper reasons for
this
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but it is mostly agreed that competition brings about high motivation to have a better result in academic achievement or
working
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work
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. It is possible to say that if we try hard to contend
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with some
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some one
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someone
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, we will desire to win them, so the ambitious sense leads to
the
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apply
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motivation.
As well as
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this
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, when you are in
competitive
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a competitive
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state, you will have a purpose to achieve the goal. To illustrate, in a running race, the
athaletes
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athletes
always want to be ranked
at
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apply
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the
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apply
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first place, so they have to compete
each
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with each
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other to become the winner.
On the other hand
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, it is possible to make the opposing case which is better to cooperate rather than
battling
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battle
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. People often have
this
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opinion because cooperation is
streng
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strong
, it helps people to overcome challenges more easily than being unaccompanied.
For instance
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, it is more productive to entail a group of participants
for completing
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to complete
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a difficult task because the more individuals join
hand
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hands
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, the more creative result you carry out. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. Having said that, from my perspective, I think competing either at school or at work is justified.
That is
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because making a living to cover
life-expenses
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life expenses
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encourages us to fight for a better place in society.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on maintaining logical progression and clearly linking ideas within paragraphs. This will make your argument easier to follow for the reader.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, try to provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and comprehensive.
general
Pay attention to language precision and accuracy. Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical mistakes and improve sentence structures for a higher score.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully introduced both sides of the argument in a balanced way and stated your own perspective clearly.
task achievement
Your essay covers all parts of the question and provides a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and well-structured.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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