Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

These days, many developing nations are seeking monetary help from global organisations to sustain their development which is not supported by all, rather many people believe that help can be in the form of consultancy rather than financial.
This
essay will shed light on both
the
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apply
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views
along with
my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, many
countries
with developing economies require financial help in order to build basic infrastructure like schools, hospitals, roads etcetera which in turn help in gaining global
recoginition
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recognition
which may not be possible
otherwise
.
Additionaly
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Additionally
, constructing
such
infrastructure will require more people to work,
thus
creating numerous job opportunities for the people of the country.
For instance
,
country
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a country
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like
bangladesh
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Bangladesh
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rely
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relies
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a lot on
United
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the United
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Nation
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Nations
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to extend support in
fullfiling
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fulfilling
their basic necesssities like food as they have
large
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a large
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population to feed in comparison to
funds
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the funds
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available.
On the other hand
, the fact can not be ignored that taking
money
or
loan
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loans
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will increase
debt
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the debt
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on
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of
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the
countries
which can
further
worsen their situation.
Therefore
, it is advisable to provide suggestions on any particular situation rather
then
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than
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giving them the
money
.
Moreover
, developing
countries
lack good expertise in certain areas which can be provided by
the
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apply
show examples
foreign organisations which will help them
in taking
Verb problem
make
show examples
better decisions for their
countries
in the present and future
also
. In my opinion, seeking any kind of monetary help
by
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from
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any developing country will not provide a
long term
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long-term
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solution to them, though if any sort of practical aid is needed that can be fulfilled by providing any sort
required
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of required
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material rather than
money
.
For example
, during
covid
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COVID-19
times, many organisations provided basic medical kits to many developing
countries
which
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
them in coping up with the situation. But if they had been given
money
, they might have
had
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apply
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used
if
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it
show examples
for some other purpose.
To conclude
, it is important to understand that developing nations do need financial
as well as
advisory aid from international
organisation
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organisations
show examples
but there should be solid grounds on which
money
is given and should not be given in all circumstances.
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task with a balanced discussion of both views and provides a clear opinion. However, to reach higher bands, more specific examples or detailed explanations could be added to support the points.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure and flows well from one point to the next, some paragraphs could benefit from more signposting language to enhance coherence. For instance, phrases like 'Moreover' and 'Additionally' could be used more effectively to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to review for minor errors in spelling and grammar. For example, 'recognition' was misspelled as 'recoginition', and 'fulfilling' was misspelled as 'fullfiling'. These small errors can distract from the overall quality of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
supported main points
You have presented both sides of the argument in a balanced manner, which shows a good level of critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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