It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money fon their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Saving
money
for
people
's
future
is significant.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
some adults believe that
savings
are
also
the responsibility of youth.
Although
younger think that saving
money
is not necessary for their age. Excessive attention to
savings
puts satisfaction in the
future
rather than enjoying the present moment. By the time
people
have enough time to enjoy themselves, they will be older, unhealthy, and less capable of living an active life. A person who saves
money
for a comfortable old age by abstaining from travel, going outside with friends, and buying expensive things that they want can be adjusted
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
their
savings
have no value as before.
This
can happen
due to
inflation. The same situation happened in our country 40 years ago. All
people
's
savings
that they had saved during their life lost their value
due to
inflation.
According to
many economists, the best way to save and multiply
money
is an investment. To be more priced like financial literacy, which can help
people
to
balanced
Change the verb
balance
show examples
basic fiscal responsibility with
free spending
Add a hyphen
free-spending
show examples
habits.
On the other hand
, saving
money
provides financial security and stability, allowing individuals to be prepared for unexpected expenses, emergencies, and
future
goals
such
as buying a home, starting a business, or retiring comfortably.
Besides
, saving
money
encourages responsible financial habits and helps individuals develop a mindset of planning for the
future
. It can
also
provide a sense of independence and freedom, as having
savings
can reduce reliance on others during challenging times. In conclusion,
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
distant
future
, it is best to show financial literacy and invest
money
. And for extra expenses in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
future
saving
money
is the best way.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant arguments for both sides. However, some ideas could be expanded to provide a more comprehensive response. Try to elaborate on each point further and incorporate more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically. The essay has a logical structure but adding better transitions between ideas would enhance cohesiveness. Work on introducing and concluding your essay more effectively to provide a clearer framework for your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and presents a balanced view on the importance of saving money.
coherence cohesion
The arguments presented on both saving and not saving money are relevant and provide different perspectives on the issue.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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