IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money fon their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Saving
money
Use synonyms
 for
people
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's
future
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 is significant.
But
Correct word choice
However
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 some adults believe that
savings
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 are
also
Linking Words
 the responsibility of youth.
Although
Linking Words
 younger think that saving
money
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 is not necessary for their age. Excessive attention to
savings
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 puts satisfaction in the
future
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 rather than enjoying the present moment. By the time
people
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 have enough time to enjoy themselves, they will be older, unhealthy, and less capable of living an active life. A person who saves
money
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 for a comfortable old age by abstaining from travel, going outside with friends, and buying expensive things that they want can be adjusted
that
Correct word choice
so that
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 their
savings
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 have no value as before.
This
Linking Words
 can happen
due to
Linking Words
 inflation. The same situation happened in our country 40 years ago. All
people
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's
savings
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 that they had saved during their life lost their value
due to
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 inflation.
According to
Linking Words
 many economists, the best way to save and multiply
money
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 is an investment. To be more priced like financial literacy, which can help
people
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 to
balanced
Change the verb
balance
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 basic fiscal responsibility with
free spending
Add a hyphen
free-spending
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 habits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, saving
money
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 provides financial security and stability, allowing individuals to be prepared for unexpected expenses, emergencies, and
future
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 goals
such
Linking Words
 as buying a home, starting a business, or retiring comfortably.
Besides
Linking Words
, saving
money
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 encourages responsible financial habits and helps individuals develop a mindset of planning for the
future
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. It can
also
Linking Words
 provide a sense of independence and freedom, as having
savings
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 can reduce reliance on others during challenging times. In conclusion,
for
Change preposition
in
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 distant
future
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, it is best to show financial literacy and invest
money
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. And for extra expenses in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 saving
money
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 is the best way.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant arguments for both sides. However, some ideas could be expanded to provide a more comprehensive response. Try to elaborate on each point further and incorporate more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically. The essay has a logical structure but adding better transitions between ideas would enhance cohesiveness. Work on introducing and concluding your essay more effectively to provide a clearer framework for your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and presents a balanced view on the importance of saving money.
coherence cohesion
The arguments presented on both saving and not saving money are relevant and provide different perspectives on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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