IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every year amount of people migrate from one
country
Use synonyms
 to another various
country
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will touch on the benefits and drawbacks of
these migration
Change the determiner
this migration
these migrations
show examples
 in society. On the one hand modern world
migrants
Use synonyms
 hope
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 migrate to much more
privilege
Replace the word
privileged
show examples
 countries on account of they will get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and take care of their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
migrants
Use synonyms
 come from where there are wars and
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
 at war. When
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
will come
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 to
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 being
war
Correct article usage
a war
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 they
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 safer. They easily get jobs, cars even homes.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 migration create some problems
such
Linking Words
 as
expose
Replace the word
exposure
show examples
 to psychological factors. Some people cannot adaption who migrate to diverse countries.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they want to come back
Change preposition
to themselves
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 countries.
In every
Change preposition
Every
show examples
 year approximately 2.2 million borders cross
illegal
Change the word
illegally
show examples
 ways to
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 fact slightly
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
citizens
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
 in that
country
Use synonyms
 show
off
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aggression or racism against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
migrants
Use synonyms
. These
Use synonyms
citizens
Add a verb
citizens are
citizens were
show examples
 afraid of
migrants
Use synonyms
 in order to some
migrants
Use synonyms
 get much more success than
citizens
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 these
citizens
Use synonyms
 think
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will cause them to lose their jobs.
Additionally
Linking Words
 vital problem is
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
 barrier for
migrants
Use synonyms
 wherever they are located in a different
country
Use synonyms
. They suffer communication and they cannot clearly express themselves
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 creates big problems. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 it can be seen that
migrants
Use synonyms
 desire live to
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 comfortable life and get much more money.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 most of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 make
strictly
Change the adverb
strict
show examples
 rules for
migrants
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 them
establish
Wrong verb form
establishing
show examples
 a lot of problems.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to thoroughly address both individual and societal benefits of migration. This will strengthen your task achievement.
task achievement
Include real-life examples or specific details to make your points more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more depth and detail to enhance logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly and improve overall cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the stage for discussing migration, identifying it as a topic of societal importance.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main points and reiterates the central theme of the essay.
supported main points
You attempted to discuss both the positive and negative aspects of migration, which is important for a balanced essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Migrate
  • Immigrant
  • Emigrant
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Expatriate
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Naturalization
  • Work permit
  • Visa
  • Residence
  • Citizenship
  • Deportation
  • Brain drain
  • Demographic
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural shock
  • Social network
What to do next:
Look at other essays: