The working week should be shorter and workers should have longer weekend.

Working
days
Use synonyms
ought to be reduced and
employers
Use synonyms
should relax more
days
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, it would be good to reduce the working
week
Use synonyms
to the
Use synonyms
workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
show examples
health and
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
if it be shorter there would be many
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
to do. It would be good to make
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
working
days
Use synonyms
. It helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
relaxing
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
more and be healthier because there are some jobs which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
difficult to
work
Use synonyms
full
Add an article
a full
show examples
day of the
week
Use synonyms
and these contribute
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
disorders.
For example
Linking Words
, in some factories'
employers
Use synonyms
diagnosed
Add a missing verb
are diagnosed
show examples
with depression cause of working hard.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
who
work
Use synonyms
fewer hours
often
Add a missing verb
are often
show examples
more focused and full of energy during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
time. Having extra time for the weekend means that they can have more chances to unwind and pursue personal interests.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
week
Use synonyms
should
be make
Change the verb form
be made
show examples
shorter
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
employers
Use synonyms
' health.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if the working
days
Use synonyms
would be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
shorter, it
contributes
Wrong verb form
would contribute
show examples
challenges to some
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
. Some businesses may find it challenging with a shorter
work
Use synonyms
week
Use synonyms
, especially those that rely on
continious
Correct your spelling
continuous
customer service.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there could be economic implications, especially for hourly
workers
Use synonyms
who may face reduced income if their hours are cut.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
workers
Use synonyms
mustn't be reduced
such
Linking Words
as doctors and rely on
continious
Correct your spelling
continuous
customer service
workers
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, working
days
Use synonyms
should
be make
Change the verb form
be made
be making
show examples
less
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
employers
Use synonyms
relaxing
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
, but some
workers
Use synonyms
can not
relaxing
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
more
days
Use synonyms
because they are necessary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the public. Shorter working
days
Use synonyms
increase better working and health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas
You should aim to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Try to elaborate on each point and add specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, when you mention that reduced workdays help with relaxation, you could explain how this impacts long-term productivity.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. For example, when you mention that reduced workdays contribute to worker's health, you could provide specific statistics or case studies that highlight this.
logical structure
Improve coherence by ensuring that your points logically flow and are well-connected. Use appropriate linking words and phrases to make transitions smoother.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay would benefit from a stronger introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly outline the main points you will discuss, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize these points.
supported main points
Support your main points with more substantial evidence and examples. This will enhance the credibility and effectiveness of your argument.
complete response
Your essay addresses the task adequately and presents a generally clear position on the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: