The increase in food production owes much to fertilizers and better machinery, but some people think that it has a negative impact on human health and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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THERE'S
THERES
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THERE
NO DOUBT THAT PRODUCTION IS HAS A NEGATIVE IMPACT ,AND
THE
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FOOD PLAYS AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN
THE
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HEALTH
AND
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THE
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FERTILIZERS
HAS
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HAVE
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A LOT OF DISADVANTAGES AND BAD EFFECTS , BUT IN FACT THE FARMERS
RELLY
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REALLY
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NEED TO USE
IT
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THEM
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,
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BECAUSE THE INSECTS WILL DESTROY
IT
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THEM
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,IN A WORD THEY NEED TO USE SOMETHINGS ORGANIC WITHOUT
PRSTICIDES
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PESTICIDES
Submitted by amenaalkhwaja80 on

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task achievement
Your response to the topic seems incomplete. Make sure to address both the benefits and drawbacks of fertilizers and machinery in food production, while also providing specific examples.
coherence cohesion
It is crucial to organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Work on expanding your main points to include more details and examples. This can help improve the clarity and depth of your ideas.
accuracy
There are some grammatical issues and spelling mistakes. For example, 'PRSTICIDES' should be 'pesticides', 'RELLY' should be 'really', and so on. Pay attention to these errors as they can impact the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You made an attempt to address both sides of the issue by mentioning both the impact on health and the need for fertilizers and machinery in farming.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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