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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the number of landline telephones per 1000 people in different countries over a five-year period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below

The diagram below shows the number of landline telephones per 1000 people in different countries over a five-year period. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below
#landline #telephones #people #countries #period #report #university #lecturer #information
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The provided
graph
 indicates the
number
 of landline
telephones
 used by a thousand people in a period of five
years
 in a variety of areas.
Firstly
, will be presented the chart structure; the horizontal line of the
graph
 displayed countries, which took part in the research, by year. The
number
 of
phones
 per thousand people is illustrated by the vertical part. The
number
 of
phones
 doesn't exceed 500 hundred for 1000 people.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
graph
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the results for 2000, 2002, and 2004
years
, which can be easily found by
appropriate
Add an article
the appropriate
show examples
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
.
Hence
, following the
graph
 notes, the
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 defined for 2000 is blue, for 2002 is orange, and for 2004 is
gray
Change the spelling
grey
show examples
.
Secondly
, the report will include the information obtained from the
graph
. The
graph
 shows research results in 9 states, of which 2 have unproportional large
usage
 of
this
 type of communication for all
years
 in the
graph
, the other 2 use
phones
 sparingly, and
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 make up the average. Three of the regions
have
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
telephones
 in 2004,
while
 do use
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 the previous
years
.
Additionally
, the difference inside the same country in the depicted
years
,
mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
show examples
 minor, excluding only Thailand.
For instance
, in Singapore, the count of
phones
 in 2000 , which is the highest of 3, and
2004
Change preposition
in 2004
show examples
, the smallest one, is less than a hundred landline
telephones
 per 1000 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 appears in Myanmar, the territory with the smallest
telephones
Fix the agreement mistake
telephone
show examples
 count in the
graph
.
According to
 the picture, the largest
usage
 of
telephones
 can be emphasized in 2 countries: Brunei Darussalam and Singapore. There, the
usage
 is greater than 150 points. In conclusion, the telephone
usage
 in each of the mentioned countries does not vary much for those with a large
number
 of
phones
 per 1000 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less.
Submitted by valerie.kabishcher on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, number, telephones, years, phones, usage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
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