IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Water shortage is a dangerous problem in the world. Discuss the consequences (irritation problems + people needs) and solutions (global efforts) for this problem? And do the social media or newspapers spread the awareness among people (leak of comagins)? And examples which are relevant.

#water #shortage #world #consequences #irritation #people #efforts #media #newspapers #spread #awareness #leak #comagins
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Environmental issues are rising across the globe, leading to serious crises of decreasing
water
's amount.
This
 problem affected badly on Earth
according
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 its important role
furthermore
, the following negative effects on all kinds of creatures.
Also
 the misleading campaigns by the media.
This
 essay will explain all sides of the case. On the one hand, the shortage of
water
 threatened
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 on Earth which led to a lot of agricultural problems
due to
 the decrease in irrigation of the plants which will be followed by a leak in the nutrition of humans and animals.
On the other hand
, that could lead to many farmers leaving the countryside to find more suitable places. The government should union their efforts to face the case and find solutions
However
, the misunderstanding on the
water
 amount between the countries. Iraq Faced the problem negatively and the lives of farmers
destroyed
Add a missing verb
were destroyed
show examples
 because of
water
 shortage. The media has the power to encourage the people to protect the environment generally, and the
water
 sources specifically
hence
, its campaigns do not as much as the issue size . They need more awareness on all social media apps adding to newspaper headlines.
To conclude
, governments and citizens across the world should gather to face the issue strongly in order to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 a normal
life
 without
threaten
Replace the word
threat
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Furthermore
, the consequences of
leak
Correct article usage
a leak
show examples
 of
water
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 big because it is the source of
life
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth.
Submitted by s.q.ismael15 on

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task achievement
The essay should include more specific examples that clearly illustrate the points being made. For instance, mentioning specific global efforts or media campaigns would strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. Transition sentences and clearer connections between points would enhance the coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Revisit the introduction to make it more engaging and descriptive of the overall context of the essay. Consider rephrasing some sentences for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, a body covering the main points, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Good awareness of the topic and understanding of the importance of water as a global issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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