IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Ask your friend to send you a particular photograph Explain why you need that particular photograph Tell your friend what happened to your copy of it Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Brendan,

#trip #friend #photographs #photograph #copy #addresses #brendan
I hope you are doing well and have recovered fully from the flu, you caught after our trip. I am writing
this
 letter to ask you to send me the
picture
 we have taken on the
rigde
Correct your spelling
ridge
ride
 in Shimla. I need that particular
picture
 in which we were acting
that
Correct word choice
like
show examples
 we were falling from the ridge though it was not that high and it was the camera angle that gave
illusion
Add an article
the illusion
show examples
 that we were standing at a height. I need that photo by next
tuesday
Change the capitalization
Tuesday
show examples
 as I want to send that
picture
 to a newspaper which is running a campaign on friendship day. They have asked to send a recent
picture
 of you with your best friend showing the craziest thing you have done together and
whats
Correct your spelling
what's
show examples
 better than that
picture
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 I remember
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 we were laughing our
heart
Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
show examples
 out and enjoying every bit of that moment.
That is
 why, I
also
 took
Add an article
a print
the print
show examples
print out
Correct your spelling
printout
show examples
 of that memory to frame it, but yesterday my dog, Oreo, tore that photograph when I was away for my music class. I was sad but
then
 I
remember
Wrong verb form
remembered
show examples
 you
also
 have a copy of it, so thought to write you a letter. Now, do send me
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 copy of that photo as soon as possible as I need to get it
print
Wrong verb form
printed
show examples
 and send it to the newspaper.
Also
, write me after you post it. I will see you soon. Give my regards to
uncle
Capitalize word
Uncle
show examples
 and
aunty
Capitalize word
Aunty
show examples
. Love Bindiya
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using more concise sentences to improve clarity and flow.
task achievement
You might want to slightly refine the explanation about the necessity of the photo for the newspaper campaign to be even more compelling.
suitable writing tone
Your letter has a clear and friendly tone, which is suitable for writing to a friend.
greeting and closing
The opening and closing of your letter are appropriate and create a personal touch.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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