An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops.What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping center rather than smaller, more traditional shops? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Ratio
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The ratio

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of
convinence
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convenience

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stores in comparison to huge shopping
centers
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centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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are
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is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject Ratio. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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declining. These days,
people
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perfer
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prefer

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to buy items from big shopping complexes rather than the local vendors in their vicinity.
This
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has both
upside
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upsides

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and
downside
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downsides

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which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. A plethora of benefits which a big mall provides attracts
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to shop from it.
To begin
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with, these
type
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types

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of settings provide a comfortable
amebience
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ambience

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which smaller shops will not be able to match.
This
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includes
,
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apply

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proper air conditioning, neat and clean toilets, carts
availablity
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availability
available

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for
elderly
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the elderly

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,
childern
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children

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and anyone with
medical
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a medical

The noun phrase medical condition seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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condition and so on.
Additionaly
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Additionally

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,
number
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a number
the number

It appears that the phrase number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of options available in eating joints which gives
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

a range of cuisines to enjoy and adventure zones for kids proves to be
attractive
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an attractive

The noun phrase attractive package seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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package for the whole family.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will mostly
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer

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buying from malls
than
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a local shop.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, shopping at
multi store
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multi-store

It appears that multi store is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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comes with a few demerits which can not be ignored.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
at
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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places like
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

end up doing a lot of
impluse
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impulse

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buying which results in
unecessary
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unnecessary

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expense
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expenses

It seems that expense may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for them. They end up buying products which are not only useless for them but are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

expensive.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the items displayed in the malls tend to be sold at higher
cost
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in comparison to local shops in order to recover the
cost
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of services they provide in the mall.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, vegetables sold in departmental
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores

It seems that store may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will always
cost
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

higher
Correct word choice
more

There may be an adjective issue here.

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in comparison to the local vendor
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their presentation and packaging.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, buying from
mall
Correct article usage
the mall

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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always is not a wise decision. To summarize, there is no doubt that big
shopppig
Correct your spelling
shopping

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centers do provide a lot of comfort to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter especially in today's past moving life which is difficult to replace by smallers corner shops but increased cost of living is also a matter of concern. Consider adding the comma(s).

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in today's past moving life which is difficult to replace by
smallers
Correct your spelling
smaller
small

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corner shops but
increased
Correct article usage
the increased

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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cost
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of living is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a matter of concern.

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language accuracy
Improve language accuracy. Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors.
main points details
Expand on your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will make your argument stronger.
introduction
Engaging introduction and clear presentation of the issue.
structure
Logical division of paragraphs and clear distinction between advantages and disadvantages.
balanced argument
Effort to discuss both sides of the argument, showing balanced consideration.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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