Zoos are inhumane and pointless. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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The morality of the
zoo
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has been criticized by the critics for a long period of time leading to the controversial issue debating on the topic of whether the
zoo
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is considered inhumane and pointless or not. Some may agree
while
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some opponents may disagree.
However
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, after a thorough consideration, though there are some benefits of the
zoo
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, the drawbacks of the
zoo
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should not be put down by any chance.
One
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of the obvious benefits of the
zoo
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is its
impacts
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impact
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on
animals
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, from
preservation
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the preservation
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of endangered
species
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to the increase in the
numbers
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number
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animals
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in the world.
Zoos
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tackle the problems of the drastic incline of animal
species
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by providing a home for animal
species
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that lose their natural habitat, meaning the
animals
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could have a safe place to continue their
species
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.
Panda
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The panda
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is
one
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of the endangered
species
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that is
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kept in the
zoo
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for the preservation of its
species
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and
also
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to do artificial fertilization in order to increase the panda’s population.
Nonetheless
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, there are several disadvantages of the
zoo
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that should be taken into account. It is undeniable that
zoos
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are often viewed as the big cage for the
animals
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which restricts the
animals
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in a small captivity, and demolishes the natural instinct of the
animals
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. The first negative aspect of the
zoo
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is that it kept the
animals
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in
the
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a
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small place compared to their natural habitat. To demonstrate, most
zoos
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provide a room for each
species
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of
animals
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which could make some
animals
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feel stressed and lead to aggressive behavior.
For instance
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, the tigers living in the
zoo
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are more likely to hurt the zookeepers from their irritation.
Furthermore
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, the
zoos
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provided
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provide
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food for the
animals
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,
ready to eat
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ready-to-eat
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meat, which is
one
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of the factors
that
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is
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are
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harmful to the
animals
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with predator instinct
on finding
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to find
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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prey. It could be clearly seen from several cases that the
animals
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such
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as lions that were released to the wild could not find their food when living by themselves.
Consequently
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, the
zoo
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could be considered as a place that sabotages the
animals
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by relocating them to a small area and ruining the animal’s
instinct
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instincts
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. In conclusion,
while
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it is true to say that the
zoo
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proffer several beneficial impacts to
animals
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, in
fact
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fact,
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i
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I
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personally
believed
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believe
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that the
zoo
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is
one
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of the cruel places for
animals
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which could deteriorate the wildlife to several
extent
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extents
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.
Submitted by pattaraporn.konj on

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task achievement
Expand on the benefits of zoos to provide a balanced discussion. You mentioned only one main benefit, which limits the depth of argument on that side.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases which should be corrected to improve clarity.
task achievement
You have presented both viewpoints in a balanced manner, which is essential for tackling this type of essay question.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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