Students who are given grades work harder than those who do not. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
Educational
systems
are a key factor in next
generations’ future. An important aspect of it is the evaluation Correct article usage
the next
systems
which should be taken into account. It is argued that evaluating pupils
by marks would spark pupils
’ hard-working
. The following essay will express my positive orientation towards Correct word choice
hard work
this
state.
It has been psychologically proven that the method of educational systems
affects students’ characters
. Evaluating Fix the agreement mistake
character
pupils
by marks could activate their multifaceted personalities such
as hard-working, tolerating
, and organized. To put it differently, a marking Replace the word
tolerant
system
has established certain instruction
in which students put their effort in a way to get the higher mark; so it can assist them to plan and recognize the priorities of life. Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
Consequently
, due to
this
steady instruction, the diligence
way would be convenient for them.
Replace the word
diligent
On the other hand
, it would be argued that the evaluation system
could make pupils
anxious. However
, this
evaluation system
provides healthily
competitive atmosphere which can motivate them to promote themselves in Add an article
a healthily
educational
Add an article
the educational
system
. For instance
, announcing the topmost students could foster
them to achieve Verb problem
encourage
the
high Correct article usage
a
ranked
and study diligently. In Replace the word
rank
this
case, pupils
comprehend that as they work meticulously, they will proudly accomplish this
position. As a result
, they put themselves under pressure to study harder.
To sum up
, a plethora of schools have assessment systems
to rank students, however
, the original aim of this
action is encouraging
them to perform better at school. I believe that it is a brilliant idea to prepare Change the verb form
to encourage
pupils
for a life which requires diligent
.Replace the word
diligence
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Grammar and Phrasing
Try to minimize small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'the diligence way' which should be 'a diligent way.'
Paragraph Development
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and fully develops it before moving on to the next point.
Examples and Evidence
Provide more varied and specific examples to support your arguments, adding more depth to your essay.
Structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
Task Response
You have addressed the prompt adequately, presenting a clear stance and supporting it with logical reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay maintains a good flow with clear connectivity between paragraphs.
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