Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a huge negative effect on both society and individuals. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Social networks are an indispensable part of our life. Some
people
believe that it has a huge negative effect on both society and individuals, while
others adhere to the contrary opinion. I support the first point of view, we will discuss this
statement in this
essay.
To begin
with advantages. Messengers, such
as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, help people
to communicate each
other and acquire new acquaintances around the world. Change preposition
with each
Moreover
, it is free
Correct article usage
a free
platforms
with Fix the agreement mistake
platform
a
vast data Correct article usage
apply
massive
about domestic problems, different sciences, and other questions. Correct word choice
apply
For example
, in politics an informed choice is very important and requires a
free access to information, social networks help to get any opinion. Remove the article
apply
Also
, consumers can make more proper decision
when they choose a product inasmuch as they have more information about the market. It is a partial solution Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
of
the Change preposition
to
ecomimic
problem "The market for "lemons" and "peaches"". Correct your spelling
economic
Thus
a pastime in the
social networks can be helpful for every user.
To continue with disadvantages. Many Correct article usage
apply
people
spend their time in
networking sites too much Change preposition
on
therefore
they can lose cognitive abilities and get a myopia after long scrolling the content. Besides
, a sedentary lifestyle can be a cause of some diseases such
as hypertension and osteoсhondrosis. Furthermore
, not all people
can keep their concentration and it can distract them from their work. Additionally
, not all content in
social sites can be useful, entertainment content doesn't foster the development of education.
In conclusion, I believe that the benefits Change preposition
on
outweight
the downsides. We shouldn't indulge the wish of rest and all Internet opportunities should Correct your spelling
outweigh
use
for both education and work.Wrong verb form
be used
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on
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advice
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social networking sites, which is good. However, some points need more development and elaboration. For example, discussing specific studies or real-world examples could enhance your argument.
advice
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are well-developed. Some points are mentioned but not fully explained, such as the impact of social networks on cognitive abilities. Providing more details would make your arguments stronger.
advice
The essay could benefit from a more nuanced conclusion. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a clear stance. Additionally, avoiding minor language errors can improve clarity and cohesion.
highlight
Your introduction provides a clear thesis and sets up the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This is a good way to guide the reader through your argument.
highlight
The essay maintains a logical structure, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Each paragraph serves a specific purpose and contributes to your overall point.
highlight
You've done a nice job of addressing multiple aspects of the issue, touching on both social and individual impacts. This demonstrates a good grasp of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.