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Band 2.5

"City planners" new design include setting up schools, markets, and commercial places(offices) in different areas of the city. Do you think it will help the city dwellers?

#city #planners #design #schools #markets #places #offices #areas #dwellers
I
beleive
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believe
 planning and
orgnize
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organising
 a
city
 can help the citizens to live
in
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apply
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a high quality
f
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of
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 life, in
this
 essay
i
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I
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 will explain how it will improve and help the
city
 dwellers. First of all, new design of some areas in the
city
 can be
impressd
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impressed
 by the citizens and will make the
city
 more lovely to stay in and likely to have
a modern designs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a modern design
modern designs
show examples
 that will make people admire it,
thus
, will make life easier for the dwellers and it will open new schools, markets and some spectacular places to work in,
However
,
City
 planners should concern that are some places in the
city
 should not get a new design, for the reason that, it's a nature and
traditonial
Correct your spelling
traditional
 places.
Secondly
, it will open a lot of
opprtunites
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opportunities
 for people who want to get a job in the
city
,
as a result
, there will be a new and high-class
accomodation
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accommodation
 with markets that have modern technology and there will be a vast amount of people who want to live in the
city
,
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apply
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 since
it's have
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it has
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 a high quality of life.
to conclude
,
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
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city
 can
improves
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improve
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 everything in the
city
 including dwellers,
in addition
, it will be more enjoyable for the citizens and it will allow them to express
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
special and modern
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 with their
familis
Correct your spelling
families
 or their
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
.
Submitted by aziz1dakhil on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing your logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs. For instance, ensure each paragraph starts with a topic sentence and follows with supporting details.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your main points more effectively. This will make your argument more compelling and concrete.
task achievement
Before writing, take a moment to outline your essay. This will help in maintaining clear and comprehensive ideas throughout.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a nice framework for your essay.
task achievement
You have some relevant points about how city planning can improve the quality of life for city dwellers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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