Companies use major sporting events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative effect on sport in general. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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In
nowdays
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nowadays
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the relationship between sports and advertising is getting strong and it can make
effect
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affect
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the people who are
wathing
Correct your spelling
watching
the events,
furthermore
, it will help the
companies
to get
a new customers
Correct the article-noun agreement
new customers
a new customer
show examples
, and it's
really
Correct article usage
a really
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good and
benfit
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benefit
thing to do, which
i
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I
show examples
will agree to do, in
this
essay
i
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I
show examples
will provide some information why is
this
a good thing.
Firstly
, the best way to sell your product is by advertising in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events,
Moreover
, sports have a huge amount of fans that will help any company to sell a special product,
for example
, in 2009
NIKE company
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Nike
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design
Wrong verb form
designed
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a colorful shoes
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colorful shoes
a colorful shoe
show examples
for Michel Jordan, so people of NBA fans will recognise
this
shoes and they will buy it.
Secondly
,
Companies
can
conterbute
Correct your spelling
contribute
to make the
sport
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sports
show examples
event
more fun and exciting to watch,
However
, some criminal
companies
used to support
sport
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sports
show examples
event
so they can
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
some money
laundery
Correct your spelling
laundering
laundry
,
in addition
, the government should be careful and aware of
this
step. In
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, it's a good thing that
companies
use
sport
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sports
show examples
events to promote their products
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they will support the
sport
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sports
show examples
event
and it will be more enjoyable to watch which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
that
will
Correct pronoun usage
there will
show examples
be more people watching the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
event
and they will spend more money to support it.
Submitted by aziz1dakhil on

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Grammar
Work on improving grammar and sentence structure to create more polished and professional prose. This will also help in conveying ideas more effectively.
Task achievement
Make a clear statement of your position in the introduction, and ensure your conclusion aligns closely with the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
Task achievement
Provide more developed examples and explanations to support your main points, which will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next, maintaining coherence throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using transitional words and phrases effectively.
Task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to tackle both sides of the argument, which shows capability in handling complex issues.
Relevant Examples
The examples provided, such as the NIKE shoes for Michael Jordan, are relevant and apt for the context of the argument, reflecting a practical understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Corporate sponsorship
  • Advertising campaign
  • Major sporting events
  • Financial support
  • Commercialization of sports
  • Global reach
  • Audience engagement
  • Product promotion
  • Brand visibility
  • Sportsmanship
  • Ethical considerations
  • Health implications
  • Intrusive marketing
  • Conflict of interest
  • Sports scandals
  • Sports integrity
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