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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #countries #world #life #expectancy #situation
as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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crowd numbers increase, technology
get
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gets
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 more advanced and it
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 help us in various ways.
one
Capitalize word
One
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 of them is worldwide better health
condition
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conditions
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 which will
results
Change the verb form
result
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 in longer life expectancy.
this
 situation comes with its advantages and
diadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 which will be discussed
farther
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further
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. as life expectancy grows the
shear
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sheer
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 amount of population increases.as
such
 we will need more resources to feed and provide
necesserities
Correct your spelling
necessities
necessaries
 for them.
it
Capitalize word
It
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 will cost us huge amounts of time too, gathering everything and processing them isn't easy.it's good to mention that with more older people we will need more hospitals or medical
supports
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support
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.
it
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It
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 will demand much higher human resources and will face
comunities
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communities
 with
lack
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a lack
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 of enough
man power
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manpower
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.
on the other
hand
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hand,
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 we can get more emotional support because we can share more time with our elderly loved ones.
let's
Capitalize word
Let's
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 not forget the impact they have when they guide us through their own
exprinces
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
.it's always helpful to get
advise
Replace the word
advice
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 which can us
much
Correct article usage
a much
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 more clear path to go. in
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 we might struggle with gathering resources or
man power
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manpower
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 as
result
Add an article
a result
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 of increased life expectancy but we will get to see our loved ones longer and use their
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
 through dire times.
Submitted by am1380ir.ka on

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coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction to clearly outline the main points that will be discussed.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points.
task achievement
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy to improve clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical progression of ideas with clear transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of increasing life expectancy.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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