More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?
Nowadays,
people
tend to move to rural area
rather than live in big Fix the agreement mistake
areas
cities
. Due to
the urban cities
lives is
too difficult Correct subject-verb agreement
are
to
residents,Change preposition
for
However
, if government
can provide Add an article
the government
an
assistance, Remove the article
apply
the
urban Correct article usage
apply
live
will be better and Replace the word
life
attraction
.
Regarding Replace the word
attractive
to
the hard of living in Remove the preposition
apply
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban
area
, there are several Fix the agreement mistake
areas
of
reasons. The big Change preposition
apply
cities
contain Add an article
a crowd
the crowd
crowd
of Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
people
and traffic, its difficult to take transportation even there
Correct word choice
if there
has
Verb problem
is
convience
public transport. Correct your spelling
convenient
For instance
, because of
Change preposition
apply
people
are crowd
, we need to leave home much earlier when go out to work. Wrong verb form
crowded
Moreover
, due to
the crowd of traffic, the air pollution is very serious compare
to Wrong verb form
compared
countryside
. Add an article
the countryside
For example
, when go
out to have a date, we always wear Change the form of the verb
going
mask
to prevent Fix the agreement mistake
masks
the
nose and skin allergies. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
, the rent and food prices both are too expensive to
local residents. Many Change preposition
for
people
live
in big Correct pronoun usage
who live
cities
cannot afford their rent, meals, and bills, while
they likely move to rural Correct word choice
so
Correct your spelling
areas
aren
which offer higher
live quality.
Correct your spelling
areas
However
, government
can offer assistance for Add an article
the government
people
who live in urban area
. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
First,
government
can expand the Add an article
the government
park of
scope and green space. Change preposition
park's
For instance
, the park and green space can provid
fresher air and reduce pollution. Correct your spelling
provide
Second,
government
can increase the number of public transportation. Add an article
the government
For example
, the more people
take public transportation such
as subway
and bike, the less carbon dioxide emissions. Correct article usage
the subway
Additionally
, government
can provide Add an article
the government
the
Correct article usage
apply
economy
help for those Replace the word
economic
people
who face economic difficult
. Replace the word
difficulties
Such
as the rent subsidy or control the
food price.
In conclusion, Change preposition
of the
although
live
in urban Wrong verb form
living
cities
will face several of
difficulties, Change preposition
apply
however
, government
can offer a
help to improve the quality of big Remove the article
apply
cities
.Submitted by zea14210209 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between ideas. For instance, use linking words to connect different points, ensuring a smoother transition from one argument to the next.
task achievement
Revise the introductory paragraph for grammatical errors and clarity. Consider rephrasing to make it clearer and more concise.
task achievement
Make sure to use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more credible.
coherence cohesion
Review the essay for grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. Consider using more varied sentence structures to improve the readability of the essay.
general
You have successfully included an introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are relevant and address the task requirements effectively.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear response to the essay prompt.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example