Scientific research should be funded by governments rather than commercial organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, investigations which are an important factor for evolution need
money
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. For these
funds
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funds,
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a group of
people
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believe scientific research ought to get
money
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from governments
instead
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of commercial organizations. I broadly subscribe
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this
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to this
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view because when both of them get funds for surf,
then
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they improve society. On the one hand, when the
government
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finance
Correct subject-verb agreement
finances
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on
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apply
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a project,
then
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this
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project is for the country;
as a result
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, the benefits of
this
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project are for
Correct article usage
the country
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country
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country's
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inhabitants;
moreover
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, these kinds of
projects
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which
Correct article usage
the authority
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authority
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authorities
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get
money
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for
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are things that can improve citizens lives. To illustrate, in my country the
government
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investment
Replace the word
invests
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on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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projects
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which are
Verb problem
that
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work on devices that can
decline
Verb problem
reduce
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water and air pollution;
therefore
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, these things help
people
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to have safer lives.
On the other hand
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, massive companies must spend
money
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for
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on
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projects
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which can develop their goods or make new tools which help
people
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to have a better living.
In other words
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, these ways help manufacturers to produce devices with high quality, less
money
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, and have good profits for
financer
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financers
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;
however
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, if the
government
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spend
money
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
these
projects
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have some demerits.
Firstly
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, governments do not have a lot of
money
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for handling
Change preposition
to handle
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all of the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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;
hence
Linking Words
, most of the investigations do not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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.
Secondly
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, when the
government
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spend
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
projects
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,
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then
Correct word choice
and then
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sell
Correct subject-verb agreement
sells
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these
projects
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to firms costly;
besides
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,
price
Correct article usage
the price
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of things climbs
from
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apply
show examples
another way.
To conclude
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, for some reasons which I mentioned both governments and commercial organizations have to spend
money
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for
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on
show examples
scientific
projects
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which help them to get their services to
people
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better.

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clear comprehensive ideas
Your main ideas are present and relevant, but they can be articulated more clearly. Try to make your points more distinct and less repetitive to enhance comprehension.
logical structure
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, ensure they are more connected to each point made in the body paragraphs, enhancing the overall structure.
relevant specific examples
Some examples and points need more specific details to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Your essay presents a balanced view that addresses both sides of the argument.
introduction conclusion present
You included an introduction and conclusion, making the essay feel more complete and structured.
supported main points
The main points are supported with relevant examples, especially in the section about government-funded projects.
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