Scientific research should be funded by governments rather than commercial organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, investigations which are an important factor for evolution need
money
. For these funds
a group of Add a comma
funds,
people
believe scientific research ought to get money
from governments instead
of commercial organizations. I broadly subscribe this
view because when both of them get funds for surf, Change preposition
to this
then
they improve society.
On the one hand, when the government
finance
Correct subject-verb agreement
finances
on
a project, Change preposition
apply
then
this
project is for the country; as a result
, the benefits of this
project are for Correct article usage
the country
country
inhabitants; Change noun form
country's
moreover
, these kinds of projects
which Correct article usage
the authority
authority
get Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
money
for them
are things that can improve citizens lives. To illustrate, in my country the Correct pronoun usage
apply
government
investment
Replace the word
invests
on
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
projects
which are
work on devices that can Verb problem
that
decline
water and air pollution; Verb problem
reduce
therefore
, these things help people
to have safer lives.
On the other hand
, massive companies must spend money
for
Change preposition
on
projects
which can develop their goods or make new tools which help people
to have a better living. In other words
, these ways help manufacturers to produce devices with high quality, less money
, and have good profits for financer
; Fix the agreement mistake
financers
however
, if the government
spend money
for
these Change preposition
on
projects
have some demerits. Firstly
, governments do not have a lot of money
for handling
all of the Change preposition
to handle
researches
; Fix the agreement mistake
research
hence
, most of the investigations do not have a
good Correct article usage
apply
result
. Fix the agreement mistake
results
Secondly
, when the government
spend money
for
Change preposition
on
projects
, then
Correct word choice
and then
sell
these Correct subject-verb agreement
sells
projects
to firms costly; besides
, price
of things climbs Correct article usage
the price
from
another way.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, for some reasons which I mentioned both governments and commercial organizations have to spend money
for
scientific Change preposition
on
projects
which help them to get their services to people
better.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main ideas are present and relevant, but they can be articulated more clearly. Try to make your points more distinct and less repetitive to enhance comprehension.
logical structure
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, ensure they are more connected to each point made in the body paragraphs, enhancing the overall structure.
relevant specific examples
Some examples and points need more specific details to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Your essay presents a balanced view that addresses both sides of the argument.
introduction conclusion present
You included an introduction and conclusion, making the essay feel more complete and structured.
supported main points
The main points are supported with relevant examples, especially in the section about government-funded projects.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!