IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Scientific research should be funded by governments rather than commercial organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#research #governments #organizations
These days, investigations which are an important factor for evolution need
money
. For these
funds
Add a comma
funds,
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 a group of
people
 believe scientific research ought to get
money
 from governments
instead
 of commercial organizations. I broadly subscribe
this
Change preposition
to this
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 view because when both of them get funds for surf,
then
 they improve society. On the one hand, when the
government
finance
Correct subject-verb agreement
finances
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on
Change preposition
apply
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a project,
then
this
 project is for the country;
as a result
, the benefits of
this
 project are for
Correct article usage
the country
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country
Change noun form
country's
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 inhabitants;
moreover
, these kinds of
projects
 which
Correct article usage
the authority
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authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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 get
money
 for
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are things that can improve citizens lives. To illustrate, in my country the
government
investment
Replace the word
invests
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on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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projects
which are
Verb problem
that
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 work on devices that can
decline
Verb problem
reduce
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 water and air pollution;
therefore
, these things help
people
 to have safer lives.
On the other hand
, massive companies must spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
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projects
 which can develop their goods or make new tools which help
people
 to have a better living.
In other words
, these ways help manufacturers to produce devices with high quality, less
money
, and have good profits for
financer
Fix the agreement mistake
financers
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;
however
, if the
government
 spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
projects
 have some demerits.
Firstly
, governments do not have a lot of
money
for handling
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to handle
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 all of the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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;
hence
, most of the investigations do not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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.
Secondly
, when the
government
 spend
money
for
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on
show examples
projects
,
then
Correct word choice
and then
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sell
Correct subject-verb agreement
sells
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 these
projects
 to firms costly;
besides
,
price
Correct article usage
the price
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 of things climbs
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another way.
To conclude
, for some reasons which I mentioned both governments and commercial organizations have to spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 scientific
projects
 which help them to get their services to
people
 better.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Your main ideas are present and relevant, but they can be articulated more clearly. Try to make your points more distinct and less repetitive to enhance comprehension.
logical structure
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, ensure they are more connected to each point made in the body paragraphs, enhancing the overall structure.
relevant specific examples
Some examples and points need more specific details to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Your essay presents a balanced view that addresses both sides of the argument.
introduction conclusion present
You included an introduction and conclusion, making the essay feel more complete and structured.
supported main points
The main points are supported with relevant examples, especially in the section about government-funded projects.
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