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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to new Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014.

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to new Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014.
#visitor #visitors #zealand #countries #years
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The line graph compares the
amount
Use synonyms
 of annual
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 in New Zealand from different 5 countries over the period of 18 years between 1996 and 2014. In general, the country that spends the biggest
amount
Use synonyms
 of money
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 Australia,
while
Linking Words
 China spends the least one.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1996 China spent the least
amount
Use synonyms
 of money
inNew
Correct your spelling
in New
 Zealand which is nearly 0,
while
Linking Words
 UK and Japan spent as much as each other (nearly 500).
However
Linking Words
, by 2002, the gap in spending between these two countries
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 definitely changed.
Expenditure
Correct article usage
The expenditure
show examples
 of Japan increased to 1000 and
expenditure
Correct article usage
the expenditure
show examples
 of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 decreased to 100.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as we can see from the graph, in 2008 the
amount
Use synonyms
 of money which was spent by Australia, China and Japan reduced rapidly.
However
Linking Words
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and UK grew up. In the period between 2008 and
2014
Add a comma
2014,
show examples
 there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 fluctuations in the
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 5 countries.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditure
  • tourism revenue
  • spending trends
  • economic impact
  • visitor spend
  • tourism sector
  • peak spending
  • fluctuations
  • incline/decline in spending
  • monetary contribution
  • tourist demographics
  • economic conditions
  • tourism campaigns
  • statistical analysis
  • data interpretation
  • fiscal year
  • extrapolate data
  • spending patterns
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