Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think we should charge for the museum,
while
others strictly believe that it should be free. In my opinion, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks,
this
essay will provide examples, to solidify the viewpoint. The major advantages of charging the admission fees are as follows: it allows a steady stream of income which will help in the maintenance of the museum and the preservation of relics.
For instance
, the money acquired by the management allows them to preserve their art pieces in an appropriate environment by hiring staff who will make sure the relics are well preserved and not stolen.
In contrast
, the primary disadvantage can be a reduced number of visitors, as low-income families will not be able to acquire entrance passes.
Whereas
some education institutes bring their students to
such
places to increase their exposure and knowledge regarding our history and origins. so heavy entrance fees can damper the process, as many students are unable to pay the required amount.
For example
, the commercialisation of museums will bring down the revenue of the museum, in turn making it difficult to maintain proper quality. In conclusion, I agree that museums should charge admission fees as it facilitate smooth and efficient maintenance of relics,
hence
outweighing the drawbacks.
Submitted by brahmani.yl on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a solid response to the topic, but it could benefit from a bit more elaboration and specific details. For example, further examples of how charging fees can benefit museums beyond just maintenance would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, the logical flow of ideas can be enhanced. Some sentences feel somewhat abrupt or disjointed, such as the transition between the advantages and disadvantages. Consider using more transitional phrases to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You effectively state your opinion and support it with relevant points, providing a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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