Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
some people believe that daycare centres provide better care for toddlers,
whereas
others arugue
that Correct your spelling
argue
elderly
are best at caring for the needs of a child. Correct article usage
the elderly
This
essay will discuss the issues and provide relavent
examples.
Children are in need of care during their early stages as they are unable to care for themselves, Correct your spelling
relevant
this
is where Daycare comes into play, as the parents have become busy due to
increasing demands in work life. They are willing to pay hundreds of dollars to such
institutions, to provide the basic needs. For instance
, playschools generally have professional staff who organise various activities which help in improving cognitive function, as well as
providing basic education and fostering independent behaviour.
On the other hand
, kids who are cared for by their grandparents have strong family bonds and are more empathetic than others, and such
an environment provides a sense of security and comfort. For example
, grandparents share their life experiences in the form of stories which improve their moral compass, in turn making them upstanding citizens of society.
To conclude
, a combination of both is required to nurture a child's overall
well-being, by sending them to playschool during the day and spending time with family in the evening, they are bound to become a well-mannered kid.Submitted by brahmani.yl on
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coherence
The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through the argument more smoothly. Each paragraph should begin with a sentence that clearly states the main idea discussed in that section.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'arugue' (argue) and 'relavent' (relevant). Although these do not significantly impact understanding, minimizing such errors can make your essay more polished.
task achievement
When discussing both perspectives, ensure that each point is sufficiently elaborated upon. Although the idea of grandparents providing moral values through stories is valid, expanding on how these stories impact the child's development would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both perspectives, which shows a balanced view on the topic. This demonstrates task achievement in providing a complete response.
conclusion
The conclusion nicely encapsulates the essay, offering a balanced solution that combines both viewpoints. This demonstrates good coherence and task achievement.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as professional staff in playschools and grandparents sharing life experiences, helps in substantiating your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.