Write about the following topic: It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, many societies are trying to do lots of things they never experienced before even though it would be gambling. They tend to follow the advice that the higher the opportunity we take, the more possibility of return we could take.
However
, I believe that taking a fresh adventure both in professional
or personal situation could give more benefit, the explanation is as follows.
One of the biggest keys to Add an article
the professional
a professional
be
a successful person is bidding exposure Change the verb form
being
of
new journeys. Through Change preposition
to
this
step, we can grow up and widen our perspective. However
, doing new things also
comes with its likelihood. For example
, when a student decided to study overseas he never had faced it before, and it would come with the threat that he could not follow the lessons of a language barrier. Nevertheless
, all the risks could be mitigated. In this
case, this
person could study a new language so all of those obstacles would not be valid.
Doing new things in activity
without uncertainty mitigation would put a person in danger too. Correct article usage
an activity
For example
, when someone is trying to run a new business without doing deep research, he would trapped in a big possibility of bankruptcy. Generally, an individual with lack
of preparation and calculation would suffer in Correct article usage
a lack
this
case. So, he should make an assessment and deep analysis before running a new business to mitigate bad probability.
In conclusion, there are possibilities for people to fall into the process of taking risks for their growth, indeed. However
, it could be mitigated by doing a deep preparation, precise analysis, and calculation. Therefore
, it makes the prospect taker would make the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by yxxs on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and you clearly state that taking risks has more benefits. However, your arguments need to be more directly connected and developed to fully respond to the task.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are related to that idea. Also, make better use of linking words and phrases to help the essay flow more logically.
task achievement
Some of your paragraphs need more specific examples to better support your points. Try to include real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your arguments more vividly.
task achievement
Your introduction sets a clear direction for the essay, outlining the main argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and connects them back to your main argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite