IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#countries #plastic #bags #source #rubbish #water #land #pollution
In the era of globalization, shopping is the
bussniss
Correct your spelling
business
 of the era. We can see a lot of people are spending money any time in buying.
However
,
this
 method is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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the prime cause
to ruin
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of ruining
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 our environment.
As a result
 of
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
utilize
Replace the word
utilisation
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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plastic bags. I strongly agree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will illustrate my point of view.
To begin
 with, Plastic materials are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
harmful
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. It can not be
moldered
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mouldered
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by
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in
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short
Add an article
a short
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 time.
Therefore
, a diverse range of less developed countries are dumping it in landfills
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 burning it.
This
 method can demolish our atmosphere and can
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
the
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apply
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global warming.
For instance
, China is one of the biggest countries around the world,
howevere
Correct your spelling
however
 they more the primary reason
of
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for
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 the global
warmong
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warming
due to
 the rapid
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of blastic materials.
On the other hand
, we can see an array of individuals are spending
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 time
in
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on
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 the beach. They
throwing
Wrong verb form
throw
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
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 trash
in
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on
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 the beach.
Moreover
,
this
 can make the rubbish
profilerated
Correct your spelling
proliferated
 in the ocean and demolish a lot of sea
animals
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animals'
animal's
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 lives.
For example
, America
have
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has
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a
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apply
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wonderful
beachs
Correct your spelling
beaches
beach
,
Nonetheless
 most of them are ruined
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
palstic
Correct your spelling
plastic
 bags. It floated on the sea and made the
sun light
Correct your spelling
sunlight
show examples
 not
access
Add a missing verb
have access
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 to
tdeep
Correct your spelling
deep
 areas, which killed a lot of animals and terminated a massive space of corals sea. In conclusion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
plays
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play
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more
Add an article
a more
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 vibrant and vital role
to
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in
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decline
Verb problem
reducing
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this
 issue. It should ameliorate
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
citizens
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citizens'
citizen's
show examples
 awareness. It
also
 can put penalties
for
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on
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
careless people. Ultimately, it should use
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
recycled materials to
diminsh
Correct your spelling
diminish
this
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
 issue.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs to have a clear and structured introduction that outlines the main points that will be discussed. The introduction provided gives some background but is somewhat disjointed.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, therefore, as a result) to ensure a smooth transition between ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on the main points with clearer explanations. Some arguments are briefly mentioned but need more detailed support to strengthen them.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and grammar. There are numerous spelling errors (e.g., 'bussniss,' 'blastic,' 'there' instead of 'their') that distract from the content of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that this idea is clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear commitment to addressing the task and recognizes the environmental issues caused by plastic bags.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to support main points, such as the mention of China and America in illustrating plastic pollution impacts.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Persistent pollutant
  • Biodegradable
  • Eco-friendly alternatives
  • Environmental impact
  • Land pollution
  • Water pollution
  • Reusable bags
  • Public awareness
  • Consumer behavior
  • Economic impact
  • Public policies
  • Innovation
  • Education and incentives
What to do next:
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