some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their abiliy to form personal relationships. other believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #abiliy #form #relationships

In contemporary society, the role of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

and networks

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

important.

However

, it

is seems

Change the verb form

seems

show examples

like a wrong decision to say that do not use social

media

will always restrict people's careers. First of all,

career

progression depends

Change preposition

show examples

many factors, not only on the use of social

media

. A professional person will have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of qualifications and a lot of different skills. In our society, social

media

is just the easy way to

built

Wrong verb form

build

show examples

conversation with other members of the society.

Secondly

careers

Change the noun form

career

show examples

development relies only on different methods and skills that were earned from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lots of experiences.

Finally

, everyone should remember that from different networks some people sometimes

receives

Change the verb form

receive

show examples

bullyings

Fix the agreement mistake

bullying

show examples

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

internet users. Unfortunately,

this

can ruin the one-third of the successful careers.

On the other hand

, the usage of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

can help to make

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

professional

career

. You can communicate with the other members of social

media

or learn about the new

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

However

, using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

is not the main reason to improve

the

Change the word

show examples

career

. In conclusion, using social

media

has

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the main influences

Change preposition

show examples

career

growth.

Correct your spelling

show examples

can be said that there are plenty

ways

Change preposition

of ways

show examples

to learn,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

meet new peers in

Career

Events, attend meetings,

seek

Correct word choice

and seek

show examples

Career

growth locally and

then

globally. All counted ways can be achieved by being proactive and not by only relying on social

media

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Jul 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure to fully address the topic by mentioning both perspectives—those who see social media as harmful to young people's personal relationships and those who see it as beneficial.

task achievement

Use specific and relevant examples to support your main points. For instance, mention specific professional advantages like LinkedIn networking or tangible negative effects like cyberbullying.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical flow by using transition words and phrases such as 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' and 'Furthermore.' This will help to better connect your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Revise the introduction to better frame the essay within the given topic. Use a clear thesis statement that outlines your stance on the issue.

coherence cohesion

Refine the conclusion by restating the key points made in your essay clearly to reinforce your argument.

content

The essay addresses the topic of social media and its effect on career progression, which is somewhat relevant to the given topic.

content

You’ve discussed both positive and negative aspects of social media, which shows an attempt at a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In certain nations, parents have high academic expectations for their children, resulting in limited leisure time. What could be the potential benefits and drawbacks of this for the children and the society they are part of
In today’s globalised world, it is notable that many parents from all over the world demand their offspring to pay more attention to their education. Their offspring are buried with books every day, which leads to a lack of time for other activities. However, what are the reasons for such parents’ expectations from their children and what are the positive and negative effects on the society? In this essay, I will provide some insights and shed light on this position.
4
band
Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a huge negative effect on both society and individuals. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In the recent years social media has invaded the lifestyle of many people, It has its advantage and disavantages. However the majority think that it brought more harm than good, especially Facebook. In this essay, both sides will be explored before evaluating whether the benefits outweighs the drawbacks.
6
band
Junk/Street Food is the most affordable meal for the working class. But health problems due to rampant and uncontrolled consumption are being compounded. It has therefore become imperative for governments to impose a higher tax on them. To what extent do you agree to this arrangement by the government? Give your opinion.
Fast food is the most popular nutrition for workers. If addictive eating causes health, the governments establish high taxes on junk food distribution to curb the unlimited and unwise consumption of 'junk food' . I agree with this idea because: firstly, big duty regulates the irrational demand for such kind of food. Secondly, a country uses money from increasing tax rates to cure victims of 'Street Food' consumption.
7
band
1.In the past, people ate local food in season. Nowadays, people buy a variety of foods from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a misconception that people should only consume seasonal food due to the belief that plants grown out of season may contain harmful chemicals. However, I advocate for consuming a variety of produce from all over the world for two main reasons: the strict regulation of the importation process and the diverse nutritional benefits.
5
band
There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Globalisation made the world boundaries smaller and changed the way that people, companies and countries tackled decisions. Through these changes it is possible to face many positive aspects in our actual society, however, they brought drawbacks as well, which have to be criticised and debated from de society in a try to relieve the problems.

some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their abiliy to form personal relationships. other believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In certain nations, parents have high academic expectations for their children, resulting in limited leisure time. What could be the potential benefits and drawbacks of this for the children and the society they are part of

Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a huge negative effect on both society and individuals. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

1.In the past, people ate local food in season. Nowadays, people buy a variety of foods from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?