Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. films stars, pop musicians or sports starts) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Wich other types of job should be highly paid?

Nowadays, entertainers
such
as musicians or sports stars, earn massive salaries. In fact, many people believe that they are paid way too much. In my opinion, I strongly support
this
view.
Firstly
, actors and sports stars
such
as footballers are paid a great amount of
money
to act or play and
this
is a source of entertainment for people.
Moreover
, by being that visible, they become advertising machines and they begin to promote brands, hotels and services.
Thus
, their salaries grow bigger and bigger.
For example
, Cristiano Ronaldo makes
money
just by promoting brands
such
as Nike. In my opinion, a high salary for them is necessary because they play a big role in today's society but sometimes,
money
could be rather invested in public services, education or the healthcare system.
For example
, doctors, midwives and nurses are not paid enough for what they do.
Furthermore
, their job requires many years of study, incredible skills and passion.
In addition
, they have a massive responsibility because they interact with sick people and newborns.
Also
, their salaries are not
proprotionaal
Correct your spelling
proportional
proportionate
to their job and working hours, especially in some countries like Italy or Spain. In conclusion, I firmly believe that governments should give less
money
to entertainers and give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rise to other workers,
such
as healthcare professionals.
Submitted by chi63hi on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
Review the essay for occasional spelling and grammatical errors. While they don't severely impact the readability, minimizing these errors will contribute to a higher overall quality.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and directly addresses the question, setting a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as Cristiano Ronaldo and healthcare workers, which help to support your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion clearly summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance, providing closure to your essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Market-driven economy
  • Societal value
  • Revenue generation
  • Public welfare
  • Compensation disparity
  • Essential services
  • Consumer culture
  • Media influence
  • Undervalued professions
  • Societal imbalance
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