Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. films stars, pop musicians or sports starts) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Wich other types of job should be highly paid?

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Nowadays, entertainers

such

as musicians or sports stars, earn massive salaries. In fact, many people believe that they are paid way too much. In my opinion, I strongly support

this

view.

Firstly

, actors and sports stars

such

as footballers are paid a great amount of

money

to act or play and

this

is a source of entertainment for people.

Moreover

, by being that visible, they become advertising machines and they begin to promote brands, hotels and services.

Thus

, their salaries grow bigger and bigger.

For example

, Cristiano Ronaldo makes

money

just by promoting brands

such

as Nike. In my opinion, a high salary for them is necessary because they play a big role in today's society but sometimes,

money

could be rather invested in public services, education or the healthcare system.

For example

, doctors, midwives and nurses are not paid enough for what they do.

Furthermore

, their job requires many years of study, incredible skills and passion.

In addition

, they have a massive responsibility because they interact with sick people and newborns.

Also

, their salaries are not

proprotionaal

Correct your spelling

proportional

proportionate

to their job and working hours, especially in some countries like Italy or Spain. In conclusion, I firmly believe that governments should give less

money

to entertainers and give

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rise to other workers,

such

as healthcare professionals.

Submitted by chi63hi on Thu Jul 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Adding transitional phrases will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

task achievement

For task achievement, ensure that your argument covers a wider range of perspectives and possible counterarguments. This will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding and analysis of the topic.

task achievement

Review the essay for occasional spelling and grammatical errors. While they don't severely impact the readability, minimizing these errors will contribute to a higher overall quality.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction is clear and directly addresses the question, setting a strong foundation for your argument.

task achievement

You provided specific examples, such as Cristiano Ronaldo and healthcare workers, which help to support your argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion clearly summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance, providing closure to your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

216 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Market-driven economy
Societal value
Revenue generation
Public welfare
Compensation disparity
Essential services
Consumer culture
Media influence
Undervalued professions
Societal imbalance

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. films stars, pop musicians or sports starts) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Wich other types of job should be highly paid?

Word Count

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of aging population

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Some people think there is no need for professional photographers as everybody knows how to click pictures. What is your opinion? Include any relevant personal experience and knowledge

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?