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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
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In today's interconnected world, people can easily acquire similar
products
 across various countries.
Although
 some might argue that
this
 trend has adverse effects, I contend that it significantly benefits global development.
Firstly
, the widespread availability of non-native goods can erode local
products
 and traditional goods.
For instance
, supermarkets frequently offer exotic chocolates or snacks that might be more appealing and delicious compared to domestic options.
This
 preference for foreign
products
 can jeopardize traditional food companies, making it difficult for them to thrive in a competitive market.
However
, the presence of various international brands and equipment in different countries enhances consumer choice and convenience.
This
 trend can drive economic growth as the turnover of diverse shops increases
due to
 the broad array of
products
 available.
For example
, Rimowa, a prestigious luggage brand originating from Germany, is accessible in almost every country.
As a result
,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 and businesspeople can obtain
such
 items locally, saving time and transportation costs. In conclusion, the ability to purchase similar
products
 globally without geographical constraints is a positive development. It dismantles barriers and fosters economic growth.
This
 trend not only provides consumers with greater choice and convenience but
also
 stimulates economic activity by boosting the turnover of diverse retail outlets.
Submitted by aksoysana on

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coherence and cohesion
Support main points with more detailed examples. For instance, providing more context on how local products are disadvantaged could strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Maintain a balanced perspective by acknowledging some potential negative impacts more explicitly before concluding on the positive aspects.
coherence and cohesion
Clear and structured argument with a good introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Examples such as Rimowa and supermarket goods effectively illustrate the main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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