There are two line chart diagrams depict changes that the percent of electrical appliance in households in 1920-2019 and the tuatal time of doing housework every weeks in same time.

#two #line #diagrams #changes #percent #appliance #households #time #housework #weeks

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The upper line graph depicts the percentage of

housholds

Correct your spelling

households

owning three electrical appliances-washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerators

show examples

and

Use synonyms

vaccum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaner

Fix the agreement mistake

cleaners

show examples

- from 1920 to 2019 in a certain country,

while

Linking Words

the lower chart demonstrates the number of weekly

hours

Use synonyms

of household chores during the same period.

Overall

Linking Words

, there was a dramatic increase in the ownership of all three electrical devices, where refrigerators and

Use synonyms

vaccum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaners were

owened

Correct your spelling

owned

by every household by the end of the given period.

This

Linking Words

has been mirrored

Change preposition

show examples

the number of

hours

Use synonyms

of housework per week which

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

dramatically declined throughout the

last

Linking Words

six decades. At the beginning of the time, in 1920, almost all houses had no refrigerator,

however

Linking Words

, 30% and 40% of them owned a

Use synonyms

vaccum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

and a washing machine, respectively. Over the next forty years, the fridge's ownership significantly jumped to 90

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

the other two cleaning appliances rose to the same level of 70%. From 1960 onwards, the percentage of washing machine owners slightly fluctuated before slowly going up to approximately 75%,

while

Linking Words

households

Change noun form

households'

household's

show examples

percentage having refrigerators and

Use synonyms

vaccum

Correct your spelling

vacuum

cleaners continued to rocket to 100% in 2000 and leveled off till 2019.

This

Linking Words

substantial rise in appliances' ownership was reflected

Change preposition

show examples

the total

hours

Use synonyms

spent on housework weekly as they

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

declined from 50

hours

Use synonyms

to 20

hours

Use synonyms

of chores in 1960.

This

Linking Words

was followed by a slight decrease to 10

hours

Use synonyms

throughout the next six decades.

Submitted by Lilly on Thu Jul 04 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words vaccum, hours with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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There are two line chart diagrams depict changes that the percent of electrical appliance in households in 1920-2019 and the tuatal time of doing housework every weeks in same time.

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. good quality of life.

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?

Evidence suggests that there is a significant rise in the number of money-consumers having willing to use a credit card more than cash. Although some disadvantages are accruing to credit card usage, I believe that advantages outweigh the disadvantages.