Some people believe that money makes life easier and more comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more trouble. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #money #life #amount #wealth #trouble

Many

people

trust that money makes life quite easier and more convenient.

However

people

think that a big amount of wealth could bring more challenges in a way Nowadays some

people

trying to solve and incorporate new places.

For instance

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

divided some useful ways to keep relationships and it brings some useful activities to think about and

as a result

people

can understand

this

way to compare trouble and easier. I think it's debating conversation in

people

's minds

for example

In my area

people

had taken some knowledge to think about it. When it comes to getting better

people

dislike descriptions of more trouble in earning money in their life because they don'

deal with

this

problematic information because they think relationships can'

improve in their situation and they have more jobs to work,

as a result

, they don'

spend and don'

feel like a member of the family and others think is not disadvantages

however

they have a supplementary time to get a better member of the family. In conclusion, there are some difficulties incorporating relationships and they have extra time to think to spend with family. They are able to get better at solving

this

problem and

this

way bring a lot of beneficial life to spend easier.

Submitted by mamashukuruvbobur31 on Thu Jul 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve task response, make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Your essay should have a clear stance on whether the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and supporting details to strengthen your arguments. These examples should be directly related to the points you are making in your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure your ideas are clearly expressed and logical. Some sections of your essay include vague and unorganized thoughts. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and flows logically to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to make your essay easier to follow. Use linking words and phrases like 'for example,' 'in addition,' 'however,' etc.

general

Revisit grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are a bit confusing or awkward. Work on constructing sentences that are clear and concise. Improving grammar will also boost overall coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion attempts to summarize the main points and present a final viewpoint, which is crucial for good cohesion.

task achievement

The essay makes an effort to address both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

211 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Quality of life
Social isolation
Philanthropy
Wealth management
Material possessions
Economic stability
Opportunities
Excessive wealth
Exploitative relationships

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?
It is irrefutable that a country’s growth largely depends on how educated and healthy its citizens are. The burgeoning population and the lack of funds often make it harder for the authority to bear the expenses of their needs, especially in education, housing and treatment. I believe that an effective solution would be to divide the expenditures between the government and the individuals.
7.5
band
Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that young individuals who commit crimes should be equally treated the same way as adults. I totally disagree with this statement and justifications are given below.
<4
band
Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no doubt that these days some people consider the government is responsible to protect its people to have a healthy diet, but others disagree and think it is up to each person to look after himself, In this essay I'm going to discuss both views and give my opinion.
8
band
In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?
Nowadays, traditional costumes have become an integral part of the culture, making a connection with the past and considered practical in many nations. Although clothes play a crucial role in preserving national identity, I’m of the opinion that there are other ways that might maximize links with the past.
7
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
Some individuals claim that all experimentation on creatures should be out of law. Meanwhile, others think that due to these experiments, today, we achieved numerous scientific discoveries. In this essay, I will explore this topic deeply.

Some people believe that money makes life easier and more comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more trouble. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?