IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs below show the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2011.

The graphs below show the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2011.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart provides information about the number of male and female
prisoners
Use synonyms
 in several European nations over 20 years from 1911 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was significant movement between the quantity of men and women in the prison population.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, The Male
prisoners
Use synonyms
 in 1911 started from 25000
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 slightly declined
just
Change preposition
to just
show examples
 below 21000
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 remained stable until
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the end of 1961 roughly 20000
people
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, It soared to the highest number,
moreover
Linking Words
 32000
people
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The Female
prisoners
Use synonyms
 in 1991 reached the highest point at 45000
people
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it gradually declined in 1961 with a score
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 18000
people
Use synonyms
. The number of female
prisoners
Use synonyms
 went up but decreased again
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 18000
people
Use synonyms
 in 1986
then
Linking Words
follow up
Add a hyphen
follow-up
show examples
 went down until the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words prisoners, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: