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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many children nowadays find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this phenomenon? What are the possible solutions to this problem?

#children #attention #school #phenomenon
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Over the
last
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 decade,concentrating on
school
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 and studying lessons has been tough.
It is clear that
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 the majority of students are becoming careless about doing their homework at
school
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.It is obvious that there are a lot of reasons for being inattentive
of
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to
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school
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.
This
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 essay will look at some causes and
also
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 I will propose several significant solutions. Let's begin by looking at some reasons
of
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for
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 being unconcerned about
school
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.It is considered that
the
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apply
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most students are
being
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apply
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involved
by
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in
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the
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apply
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modern technology
such
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 as video games,
cellphones
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cell phones
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 and computers.Generally speaking,by progressing digital networks and social media,more and more
children
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 may not concentrate on their lessons at
school
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.Another notable reason is that the
parents
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 might not be able to control their
children
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 in order to demolish these
distractions
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distracting
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 facilities.
In other words
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,most
parents
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 may not have any strict rules for their
children
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 to do their homework. Turning to the side of the solutions,the way forward to
this
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 issue might be
increase
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to increase
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 the awareness of
the
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apply
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both students and
parents
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 about consequences of the consuming video games and mobile phones.If the
children
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 know about the disadvantages of digital networking,they will not
to
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apply
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be keen on using them like before.To tackle the problems of
parents
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 with their
children
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,
parents
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 should legislate new rules for concentrating and attending
the
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apply
show examples
school
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.Not only can
parents
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 affect
on
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apply
show examples
their
children
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,but
also
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 they can put strict rules in their home for lessons.
To conclude
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,
carring
Correct your spelling
carrying
caring
 to
the
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apply
show examples
school
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 might be difficult for
children
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 because of some reasons
such
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 as video games,digital networks and social media.These problems will remain unchanged unless both government and
parents
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 do something for them.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence
Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Using connective words and phrases can help create a smoother flow.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples to support your points. This will add depth and enrich your argument, making it more convincing.
task achievement
Address minor grammatical issues and punctuation errors to improve clarity and readability. For instance, be mindful of comma usage in compound sentences.
coherence
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay by outlining the problem and indicating that solutions will be proposed. This provides a good understanding of what to expect.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies relevant causes of the problem (modern technology distractions, lack of parental control) and suggests appropriate solutions (increasing awareness and enforcing rules).

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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