Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
contemporary epoch, celebrities
such
as sports or film stars play a vital role in common people
’s life
. Some Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
believe that being famous among people
provides various pros to them while
critics say that it has more cons. This
essay will delve into both advantages and disadvantages of celebrity lives thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
with, everybody wants to be a
special among Change the article
apply
people
. Many humans dream of becoming celebrities
because it brings relentless monetary benefits to them. Famous personality earns a lot more than doctors, teachers, and engineers. Meanwhile, even they do not require any highly qualified degrees as well. Moreover
, being popular helps the individual to travel to other countries, enjoy
and explore the world. Correct word choice
and enjoy
This
encourages them to learn a new language and culture.
However
, being famous brings many risks to life
as well. For instance
, celebrities
get many blackmailing phone calls or text messages from the haters that put them in danger. Furthermore
, they are not able to enjoy the benefits of private life
because all their actions are telecasted to the public such
as their love life
or breakups. The life
of celebrities
is not easy as
for earning and to keep them active in the media they need to keep them updated with new entertainment or informative stuff.
In my opinion, as a coin has two sides, the Change preposition
apply
life
of every individual is similar as sometimes it brings happiness and sometimes hardships. Hence
, celebrities
have to face both the benefits and drawbacks of being popular among the common people
, it all depends on how they deal with those.
To conclude
, as per the reasons mentioned above it is crystal
that in some stages it is good to be a celebrity but Add an article
a crystal
the crystal
at
Change preposition
in
Correct quantifier usage
some cases
cases
it is better to be a common person Add a comma
cases,
like
to save themselves from Correct word choice
apply
life
risks and keep life
private.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task achievement
Your essay gives a good introduction and conclusion, and generally covers both the benefits and drawbacks of being a celebrity. However, you should provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your argument. Try to draw on real-life situations or public figures to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Ensure your paragraphs transition smoothly and that each one clearly supports your main argument. Use linking phrases to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of being a celebrity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is strong and sets up the topic well, while your conclusion effectively sums up your main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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