The tourist industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
These days, the
tourism
industry has been one of the booming sectors around the world for over fifty years. Even though, some say that tourism
does not provide many more privileges to nations
when travellers visit
. I strongly disagree with this
statement for the following reasons.
To begin
with, tourism
brings enormous benefits to nations
constantly. This
means,
Remove the comma
apply
tourists
can utilize all the facilities by paying money where they go to visit
while
they should need accommodations, food, travel vehicles, and travel guides. For example
, travellers pay taxes when they buy any stuffs
, and Fix the agreement mistake
stuff
as a result
, the country
's economy will rise tremendously because of tourists
. Needless to say, tourists
not only visit
to
other Remove the preposition
apply
nations
in certain periods but also
the whole year they visit
where their loved places, so
Add a missing verb
are, so
tourism
always brings earning
to the Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
nations
constantly.
Furthermore
, tourism
provides a plethora of employment opportunities to the population where sightseers visit
the territories. This
is, local people sell their handcraft
items, vegetables, rare Replace the word
handcrafted
country
fruits and hand-made dresses to foreigners in order to
the local Change preposition
for
inhabitant's
Change noun form
inhabitants
earnings
are
stable. Wrong verb form
be
For instance
, many people's regular income from tourists
and they have small shops in that places, earn from tourism
. Hence
, tourism
certainly, brings enormous amounts of earnings
to the country
where visitors come.
In conclusion, tourism
plays a crucial role in the nation's economy. It brings more earnings
to the country
constantly because the local residence's
income and Replace the word
residents's
job
are stable Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
along
with
Change preposition
apply
tourists
pay more taxes when they purchase things. Therefore
, I completely disagree with this
statement because tourism
creates a lot of earnings
and income constantly to
the Change preposition
in
nations
where traveller visits places.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
While your response covers the task, there are areas for improvement. Focus on providing more varied and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong conclusion that reiterates your main argument.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the prompt, addressing the benefits of tourism effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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