Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #society #mothers #fathers #courses

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It is argued that

parents

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should take education

courses

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to learn how they take

care

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of their

kids

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This

Linking Words

essay totally agrees with

this

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statement because

this

Linking Words

learning method will help fathers and mothers

Verb problem

apply

show examples

learn the right way to take

care

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of their children, and

this

Linking Words

will improve the quality of their society.

Firstly

Linking Words

parents

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should take training

courses

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to learn an effective method used with children. If they educate about

this

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aspect they will become an amazing parent in the world. Because

this

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affects their life and the outcome their children will be

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

For example

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, a recent survey in Japan found when

parents

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are caring

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for

show examples

their

kids

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by using different information from learning

courses

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this

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makes their life easier than other

parents

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who do not learn anything about

kids

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secondly

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this

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is an important thing to improve our society by increasing families' awareness.

Parents

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' awareness is keeping their

kids

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under their vision and controlling their bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

this

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will decrease the number of crimes and make their society a good place to live.

For example

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, there is a family that used to let their

kids

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do what they want

then

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they found

this

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method makes

kids

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worse than others,

then

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they started to take a specific course for

kids

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care

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and

this

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helped them a lot. In conclusion, I believe taking

care

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kids

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is a primary thing in a parent's life. so fathers and mothers have to take training

courses

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to help their

kids

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grow up

Change preposition

show examples

the right way.

Submitted by saja.alotaibi on Fri Jul 05 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

To improve the clarity of your ideas, ensure each point is clearly explained and adequately supported by examples or evidence. For example, the first main point about effective parenting could benefit from more detailed examples of what constitutes 'effective methods.'

logical structure

Work on enhancing the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and avoid abrupt jumps between ideas. Subheadings like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are good, but ensure that there is a clear connection between these major points.

relevant specific examples

Your examples, while relevant, could be more specific. Including data, studies, or more thoroughly fleshed-out hypothetical scenarios would strengthen your argument. The example from Japan is good, but could benefit from more detail on the survey's findings.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states your position and previews your main points. This sets a solid foundation for your essay and makes your position immediately clear to the reader.

logical structure

The essay has a logical structure with clear subheadings ('Firstly,' 'Secondly') that guide the reader through your points. This helps in maintaining coherence and understanding.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance. This helps in reinforcing your argument and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

equip (verb): to provide with necessary tools or skills
cater (verb): to attend to someone's needs or requirements
development stages (noun): specific times during a child's growth when certain physical or psychological changes occur
nutrition (noun): the process of providing or receiving the food necessary for health and growth
foster (verb): to promote the growth or development of something
mandatory (adjective): required by law or rules
infringement (noun): the action of limiting or undermining something
practicality (noun): the quality or state of being practical or realistic
accessibility (noun): the quality of being easy to obtain or use

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Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Few languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or negative development?

Water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What are the causes and effects of water pollution?

On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of the lost item. Write a letter to the insurance manager. In your letter: describe the item you lost, explain how you lost it, tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.