Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
parents
should take education courses
to learn how they take care
of their kids
. This
essay totally agrees with this
statement because this
learning method will help fathers and mothers to
learn the right way to take Verb problem
apply
care
of their children, and this
will improve the quality of their society.
Firstly
, parents
should take training courses
to learn an effective method used with children. If they educate about this
aspect they will become an amazing parent in the world. Because this
affects their life and the outcome their children will be success
. Replace the word
successful
For example
, a recent survey in Japan found when parents
are caring of
their Change preposition
for
kids
by using different information from learning courses
, this
makes their life easier than other parents
who do not learn anything about kids
.
secondly
, this
is an important thing to improve our society by increasing families' awareness. Parents
' awareness is keeping their kids
under their vision and controlling their bad behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
this
will decrease the number of crimes and make their society a good place to live. For example
, there is a family that used to let their kids
do what they want then
they found this
method makes kids
worse than others, then
they started to take a specific course for kids
care
and this
helped them a lot.
In conclusion, I believe taking care
of kids
is a primary thing in a parent's life. so fathers and mothers have to take training courses
to help their kids
grow up on
the right way.Change preposition
in
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on
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clear comprehensive ideas
To improve the clarity of your ideas, ensure each point is clearly explained and adequately supported by examples or evidence. For example, the first main point about effective parenting could benefit from more detailed examples of what constitutes 'effective methods.'
logical structure
Work on enhancing the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and avoid abrupt jumps between ideas. Subheadings like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are good, but ensure that there is a clear connection between these major points.
relevant specific examples
Your examples, while relevant, could be more specific. Including data, studies, or more thoroughly fleshed-out hypothetical scenarios would strengthen your argument. The example from Japan is good, but could benefit from more detail on the survey's findings.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position and previews your main points. This sets a solid foundation for your essay and makes your position immediately clear to the reader.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with clear subheadings ('Firstly,' 'Secondly') that guide the reader through your points. This helps in maintaining coherence and understanding.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance. This helps in reinforcing your argument and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your position.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?