Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #society #mothers #fathers #courses

It is argued that

parents

should take education

courses

to learn how they take

care

of their

kids

This

essay totally agrees with

this

statement because

this

learning method will help fathers and mothers

Verb problem

apply

show examples

learn the right way to take

care

of their children, and

this

will improve the quality of their society.

Firstly

parents

should take training

courses

to learn an effective method used with children. If they educate about

this

aspect they will become an amazing parent in the world. Because

this

affects their life and the outcome their children will be

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

For example

, a recent survey in Japan found when

parents

are caring

Change preposition

for

show examples

their

kids

by using different information from learning

courses

this

makes their life easier than other

parents

who do not learn anything about

kids

secondly

this

is an important thing to improve our society by increasing families' awareness.

Parents

' awareness is keeping their

kids

under their vision and controlling their bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

this

will decrease the number of crimes and make their society a good place to live.

For example

, there is a family that used to let their

kids

do what they want

then

they found

this

method makes

kids

worse than others,

then

they started to take a specific course for

kids

care

and

this

helped them a lot. In conclusion, I believe taking

care

kids

is a primary thing in a parent's life. so fathers and mothers have to take training

courses

to help their

kids

grow up

Change preposition

show examples

the right way.

Submitted by saja.alotaibi on Fri Jul 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas

To improve the clarity of your ideas, ensure each point is clearly explained and adequately supported by examples or evidence. For example, the first main point about effective parenting could benefit from more detailed examples of what constitutes 'effective methods.'

logical structure

Work on enhancing the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and avoid abrupt jumps between ideas. Subheadings like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are good, but ensure that there is a clear connection between these major points.

relevant specific examples

Your examples, while relevant, could be more specific. Including data, studies, or more thoroughly fleshed-out hypothetical scenarios would strengthen your argument. The example from Japan is good, but could benefit from more detail on the survey's findings.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states your position and previews your main points. This sets a solid foundation for your essay and makes your position immediately clear to the reader.

logical structure

The essay has a logical structure with clear subheadings ('Firstly,' 'Secondly') that guide the reader through your points. This helps in maintaining coherence and understanding.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance. This helps in reinforcing your argument and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

equip (verb): to provide with necessary tools or skills
cater (verb): to attend to someone's needs or requirements
development stages (noun): specific times during a child's growth when certain physical or psychological changes occur
nutrition (noun): the process of providing or receiving the food necessary for health and growth
foster (verb): to promote the growth or development of something
mandatory (adjective): required by law or rules
infringement (noun): the action of limiting or undermining something
practicality (noun): the quality or state of being practical or realistic
accessibility (noun): the quality of being easy to obtain or use

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Students nowadays can get large quantities of information from mobile phone. Despite this, many people think that they should not be allowed to use them in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This is a true fact to considers that in the present days mobile phone has become a vital part of our life and majority of the people in the world are using it. There are these who say that banning the use of mobile phones for teens in school, however other believe that it should. In this essay I will examine both side of the argument. and provide my overall opinion.
6.5
band
Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a debate related to how to travel in a city. While proponents prefer using a car for traveling, opponents consider that the most advantageous way to travel is by bicycle. In my opinion, it would be better if people are likely to use bicycles because it can address some problems related to traffic and air pollution.
4.5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars
With the advent of technology, the world is evolving faster with several technological advancements making our lives easier. Over the past three decades, car ownership has seen an unprecedented rise, leading to severe congestion on the roads. I think the above statement is very true. The government should take necessary measures to discourage people from using cars.
6
band
he increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
The increasing desire for consumer goods today has accelerated industrial production and this poses a threat to the environment. This essay will delineate the reasons for this and also propose solutions for these concomitant environmental risks.
6.5
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Today, one group believes that children should learn how to compete, on the other hand another group supports the idea that instead of being competitive, children should be taught how to work together which makes them more useful in their future lives. I completely agree with the second view.

Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Students nowadays can get large quantities of information from mobile phone. Despite this, many people think that they should not be allowed to use them in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars

he increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.