Parents, usually mothers, give up work, choose to stay at home and look after families. Some people think that government should give them salary. Do you agree or disagree. Give reason from your own knowledge and experience.

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Some

parents

Use synonyms

choose to leave

work

Use synonyms

and are occasionally mothers and stay at home to care for their families. I do not agree that the authorities must pay them for their sacrifices.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss several reasons behind that matter.

Firstly

Linking Words

, It is the fact that individuals who push themselves to

work

Use synonyms

will receive more money, and without any effort, it is not an ethical approach to give a salary to anyone. If we look at nature we might understand

this

Linking Words

concern more deeply. Take the ants

for example

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, they

work

Use synonyms

as a team and none of them attempt to destroy their rhythm.

As a result

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, Similarities between ants and human society are a proper illustration for possible resolution in the case of whether should the

government

Use synonyms

pay for mothers who stay at home or just leave them alone.

Secondly

Linking Words

, In terms of ethics, it is not appropriate to pay those who do not contribute to society and those who receive money free will likely be lazy, which is a characteristic that demolishes the rhythm of the public.

Besides

Linking Words

, I would recommend that the

government

Use synonyms

should encourage them to

work

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instead

Linking Words

This

Linking Words

will achieved through the

government

Use synonyms

's initiatives.

Thus

Linking Words

, promoting more facilities,

such

Linking Words

as a more comfortable working environment for

parents

Use synonyms

or allowing them more time to vacation so that they can both enjoy and care about their families. In conclusion, I do not believe that it is advantageous for society to pay

parents

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who stay at home as nature gives us numerous insights about

this

Linking Words

affair , and it is not ethically correct which makes them lazy .

Instead

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, I recommend creating an environment for

parents

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that allows them to continue to

work

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. To be successful, the

government

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plays a vital role.

Yasar KhanFri Jul 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, which is a strong point. However, some of your arguments could be more fully developed. For example, when mentioning the ants, you could explain more directly how this relates to human society. Adding real-life examples or statistics could also strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally coherent, there are areas where transitions between ideas can be smoother. Ensure each paragraph logically flows from one to the next. Additionally, aim to use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a strong framework for your argument.

task achievement

Your stance on the issue is clear and consistent throughout the essay, which helps in presenting a unified argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Parents, usually mothers, give up work, choose to stay at home and look after families. Some people think that government should give them salary. Do you agree or disagree. Give reason from your own knowledge and experience.

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In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?